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Contemporary Issues Family & Women Marriage (Nikkah) Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq' Pearls of Wisdom Purification of The Soul Worship - 'Ibaadah'

Do Not Be Disheartened When a Marriage Proposal is Declined After You’ve Employed all The Legislated Means

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Jaabir Bin Abdillaah [may Allaah be pleased with him and his father] said, ”Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] used to teach us the way of doing Istikhaarah (i.e. the means to ask Allah to guide one to the right action concerning any job or a deed) in all matters as he taught us the Suras of the Qur’an. He said, ‘If anyone of you wants to do any task [i.e. wants to decide on a matter], he should offer a two rak`ats other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer):

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ وَاقْدُرْ لِي الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي

O Allaah! I seek Your guidance through Your Knowledge, and I seek Power from Your Might, and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not, and You (alone) know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this task (or affair) is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter- (or said, ‘If it is better for my present and later needs), then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, and then bless me in it. And if You know that this task (affair) is harmful to me in my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter- (or said, ‘If it is worse for my present and later needs’), then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it.’ The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] added that then the person should mention his (or her) need [i.e. the affair or task]. [Bukhaari: 1162]

After Istikhaarah, one also seeks the advice of upright people, who are able give advice in the affair. Al-Hasan al-Basree [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “By Allaah! Never have a people sought advice except that they were guided to the best of what was available to them.” Then he recited [ And (the Believers) who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation]. [Surah Ash-Shurah. Ayah 38]

Al-Allaamah Zayd Bin Haadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: When a difficulty that is related to a Muslim’s religious and worldly affairs occurs, it is befitting that he consults someone whom he considers reliable, wise, truthful and sincere. He examines (the advice) given by that person, then he makes a choice – either to take that advice or decides not to take it based on what he is satisfied with, in relation to his personal affairs. The narration places emphasis on the fact that consultation guides to the best outcomes, and due to this it is said, “The one who consults does not regret (thereafter InShaaAllaah) and the one who performs Istikhaarah will not fail (to achieve what is good for him or her).” Both Istikhaarah and consultation are legislated and a lot of good is achieved by way of them, as opposed to when affairs are pursued in a rigid and haphazard manner, for indeed this might lead to regret and harm. (1)

The One Consulted Must Fear Allaah: Abu Hurairah [may Allaah be pleased with him] said that the Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “The consultee is in a position of trust]. [Saheeh Sunan Abee Dawud. Number 5128]

The consultee is the one whose opinion is sought after regarding an affair of Maslahah [i.e. an affair that will bring about benefit and repel harm]. He is in a position of trust with regards to what he is asked, and it is not permissible for him to deceive the one who consults him by concealing the affair that would bring about benefit. (2)

This hadeeth is evidence, showing that the consultee must (advise) with the course of action and opinion -in relation to the consultation – that which he would do for himself. And it is not permissible that he directs his Muslim brother to something he would not be pleased with for himself. (3)

After you have employed all the legislated means and consulted the best people regarding the affair, then do not be disheartened or disappointed, because only Allaah knows the beginning and end of all affairs – hidden and apparent. Allaah said:

وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَهُوَ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّڪُمۡ‌ۖ وَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ۬ لَّكُمۡ‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يَعۡلَمُ وَأَنتُمۡ لَا تَعۡلَمُونَ

And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” [AI-Baqarah. Verse 216]

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said:

There is for the servant -in this verse – a number of insightful guidelines, underlying benefits and welfare, because indeed if he knows that Al-Makrooh (what is disliked) can bring forth Al-Mahboob (i.e. what is beloved), and vice versa, then neither would he feel safe from the harm that might occur from something that makes him happy nor would he lose hope whilst expecting a final source of happiness from a situation of harm. That is because he does not have (infinite or perfect) knowledge of the Awaaqib (i.e. the final outcomes), but Allaah knows that which he does not know.

The servant should hand over his affair to the One (Allaah) who knows – (perfectly without anything hidden from Him)- the end result of affairs. He should be pleased with what Allaah chooses and decrees for him because of the good end result he hopes for.

Neither should he make suggestions to his Lord nor put forward his choice over that of his Lord, nor does he ask for something about which he has no knowledge, because it maybe that what will bring about harm and destruction on him is found in what he asks, whilst he does not know. Therefore, he does not choose anything over what his Lord chooses; rather he asks his Lord to choose the best for him and make him pleased with what has been chosen for him, because there is nothing more beneficial for him than this.

When he hands over his affair to his Lord and is pleased with what has been chosen for him, his Lord facilitates him with strength, determination and patience in that which has been chosen for him; repel the afflictions he would have encountered due to the choice he makes and show him some of the good end results of the choice his Lord made for him, which could not have been attained through the choice he makes for himself.

If he is pleased with Allaah’s choice, then what has been decreed will come to him, whilst he is deserving of commendation and graceful in it; otherwise, what has been decreed will come to him while he is blameworthy and ungraceful, because he is left with the choice he made for himself. (4)

Finally, let us ponder upon this story that will teach us a lesson regarding the fact that we should always be pleased with Allaah’s decree if the one we desired to marry chooses someone else, because only Allaah knows the end result of affairs. Ibn Abbaas [may Allaah be pleased with him and his father] said, “Barira’s [may Allaah be pleased with her] husband was a slave called Mughith [may Allaah be pleased with him], as if I am seeing him now, going behind Barira and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said to `Abbas, “O `Abbas! Are you not astonished at the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira for Mughith?” The Prophet then said to Barira, “Why don’t you return to him?” She said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Do you order me to do so?” He said, “No, I only intercede for him.” She said, “I am not in need of him.” (5)


[Ref 1: Awnul Ahadis Samad, Sharh Al-Adab Al-Mufrad. Vol 1. Hadeeth Number 256. page 283]

[Ref 2: Mirqaat Al-Mafaateeh Sharh Mishkaat Al-Masaabeeh. Vol 4. Hadeeth 5062. page 259]

[Ref 3: Awnul Ahadis Samadi, Sharhu Al-Adab AlMufrad. Vol 1. Hadeeth Number 256. page 283]

[Ref 4: Al-Fawaa’id. page 204. slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 5: Sahih al-Bukhari 5283]

 

 

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Contemporary Issues Family & Women Marriage (Nikkah) Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq' Purification of The Soul

You Still Love Your Wife or Find Her Attractive After Nearly Three Decades of Marriage?! [Opening Blind Eyes of The Ingrates and Those Bored With One of Allaah’s Blessings]

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Looking at The One Proposed For Marriage

Abu Hurayrah [may Allaah be pleased with him] said, “I was with the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No’. He said, ‘Go and look at her, because there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar'”. [Saheeh Muslim. Number 1424]

Regarding the statement, “Because there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar”, Imaam An-Nawawi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “It is said that the intent behind this is Small-eyed and it is said that it is Bleary-eyed”. (1)

Mughirah Bin Shubah [may Allaah be pleased with him] said, “I came to the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] and told him of a woman to whom I had to propose marriage. He said, ‘Go and look at her, because that is more likely to create love between you.’ So, I went to a woman among the Ansar and proposed marriage through her parents. I told them what the Prophet had said, and it was as if they did not like that. Then I heard that woman behind her curtain, saying, ‘If the Messenger of Allah has told you to do that, then do it, otherwise I adjure you by Allah (not to do so)’. And it was as if she regarded that as a serious matter. So I looked at her and married her.” And he (Mugheerah) mentioned how well he got along with her. (2)

So, after seeing the one you want to marry and decide to go ahead because she is beautiful in your eyes as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then ask Allaah sincerely to place genuine love, compassion, mercy and respect between you, as Allaah [The Most High] said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Surah Ar-Rum. Aayah 21]

Allaah [The Exalted] said: [وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبۡ لَنَا مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعۡيُنٍ۬ وَٱجۡعَلۡنَا لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا – And those who say: Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious]. [Surah Al-Furqaan. Aayah 74]

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “So they ask Allaah to grant them the comfort of the eye by making their wives and offspring obedient to Allaah, and to grant them happiness in their hearts due to being followed by the righteous in obedience and servitude to Allaah. That is because a trustworthy leader in the religion co-operates upon obedience (to Allaah and His Messenger), and that is to call to (sound) leadership in the religion, whose foundation is patience and certainty, as Allaah [The Most High] said: [ وَجَعَلۡنَا مِنۡہُمۡ أَٮِٕمَّةً۬ يَہۡدُونَ بِأَمۡرِنَا لَمَّا صَبَرُواْ‌ۖ وَڪَانُواْ بِـَٔايَـٰتِنَا يُوقِنُونَ – And We made from among them (Children of Israel), leaders, giving guidance under Our Command, when they were patient and used to believe with certainty in Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.). Therefore, in their supplication -[in Surah Al-Furqaan Ayah 74]- to Allaah that He makes them leaders of the righteous people, is that Allaah guides them, grants them success, bless them with beneficial knowledge and righteous actions- outwardly and inwardly – without which (sound) leadership in the religion cannot be achieved”. (3)

Then strive to live your life according to the Qur’aan and Sunnah, return to them in all your affairs and to the upright scholars in times of agreement and disagreement. Strive to know your wife’s character and let your household be that of mercy, sincere advice and harmony. Aa’isha [may Allaah be pleased with her] narrated that Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said to her, “O Aa’isha! Be gentle, for indeed when Allaah wishes good for a household, He guides them to gentleness”. Al-Allaamah Zaid Bin Haadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “This hadeeth contains proof regarding the fact that it is obligatory to give sincere advice and the first people one should give sincere advice is the members of the household- the wives, sons, daughters and others. Also this hadeeth contains proof regarding the virtue of gentleness in all affairs, for indeed gentleness is not found in any affair except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it damages it. On the other hand, the opposite of gentleness is warn against and it is the harshness that is applied in other than its rightful place, because its end result will be alienation and disharmony”. (4)

Aa’isha [may Allaah be pleased with her] narrated that Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me”. I said, “When do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Abraaheem.’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes, (certainly, you are right); but by Allaah, O Allaah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name.

Benefits From This Hadeeth

A man’s thorough observation regarding the state of a woman due to her action, speech, inclination or lack of inclination towards him based on indications, because the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] firmly determined Aa’Isha’s [may Allaah be pleased with her] happiness or anger merely when she mentioned or refrain from mentioning his name; therefore, he judged the two situations based on the mention or the absence of a mention of his name as an indication of happiness or anger. It can also be definitely the case that there is something more explicit regarding this affair, but he did not say it.

And regarding the statement of Aa’Isha, “Yes (certainly, you are right); but by Allaah, O Allaah’s Messenger, I do not leave anything else besides your name”. At-Teebee said, “This is a very subtle way of making an exception, because she related that when she is in a state of anger – a state in which a sane person loses his senses by choice, her affirmed love for the Messenger does not change.

Ibnul Muneer said, “What Aa’isha intended is that she left out the wording of the Prophet’s name but her heart’s pure love and affection towards the noble person of the Prophet does not leave her.

And with regards to the choice Aa’Isha made to use Prophet Ibraaheem’s [peace be upon him] name instead of the other Prophet’s, this is proof regarding her intelligence, because the Prophet is the one with the best claim to Ibraaheem just as Allaah stated in the Qur’an. Therefore, when she had no other way of leaving a noble name, she replaced it with the name of someone who is from the one whose name she left out, so that her heart does not exit the boundaries of that attachment. (5)

This is what we ask Allaah for even when our wives are not happy with us due to some misunderstanding or disagreement – still loving us just as we also love them regardless of their physical appearance after leaving the the age of youth – forty and above. They are the ones who carried our children, whilst enduring great and severe difficulty during pregnancy, then the great difficulty of childbirth, breast feeding and baby-sitting. These difficulties did not only last for a short period- an hour or two; rather its time period was thirty months. And in most cases the period of pregnancy is nine months or (a bit less or more), and then breast feeding during the remaining months after childbirth. It would be enough to respect our wives and appreciate their patience after witnessing a single child birth! The one who bore this severe pain to deliver our beloved children deserves to be looked at with more admiration, compassion and respect than her physical beauty which no longer is the same as when she was younger; and in addition to this, why do you not ask yourself whether she also still finds you attractive after your youth has elapsed?! Marriage is not lust and the woman is not just pleasure and enjoyment! https://atomic-temporary-194201713.wpcomstaging.com/2014/06/13/reminder-marriage-is-not-lust-and-the-woman-is-not-just-pleasure-and-enjoyment/

The wives who gave birth to our beloved children, nieces, nephews and grand children, and took care of them; guarded our wealth and honour, guard their chastity and honour, indeed none asks – with amazement – whether their husbands still find them attractive after years of marriage, sacrifice and patience, except an ingrate- one who neither fully understands the real purpose of marriage and companionship nor what beauty is in reality. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah”. (6) Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated about this hadeeth: “Whoever – from his traits and character – does not thank people for their good behaviour and kindness towards him, then he is not thankful to Allah due to his evil and rough behaviour, because indeed he is most likely in such a situation not to thank Allaah. Therefore, that which is obligated on a believer is to be thankful to the one who does good to him among his relatives and others. And just as it is obligated on him to thank Allaah for the good bestowed on him, it is also obligated on him to thank the people for their good behaviour and kindness towards him. Allaah [جل وعلا] loves that His servants thank those who are good to them and that they return good with good. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Whoever does good to you, pay him back. If you cannot find something to give in return, then supplicate for him until he sees that you have indeed repaid him”. (7) And due to this, it is legislated for the believer (in the Sharee’ah) to supplicate for the one who supplicates for him, respond with kindness to the one who did good to him, commend him with good in return for his kindness to him and do good to him. This is from good manners and good deeds”. (8)

Finally, these women are a blessing, so only a fool gets bored with Allaah’s blessings, as Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated, “One of the common hidden afflictions is when a person has a blessing bestowed on him by Allaah; but he becomes bored with it, seeks to do away with it, and – due to ignorance- turns to what he claims is better for him than it. His Lord – out of Mercy- does not remove him from that blessing- excuses him for his ignorance and the bad choice he makes for himself, until he becomes fed up with the blessing, angered and dissatisfied due to it, and being fed up becomes firmly established; then Allaah takes it away from him. After turning to what he sought after and then see the difference between the state he used to be in as opposed to his affair at present, his anxiety and regret intensifies, so he seeks to return to the state he was in. There is nothing more harmful to the servant than being fed up with Allaah’s blessings, because neither does he see it as a blessing nor thank Allaah him for it, nor rejoice regarding it; but rather it angers him. He complains and considers it a calamity, even though it is one of Allaah’s greatest blessings conferred on him. The majority of the people are enemies of Allaah’s blessings and they do not realise the blessings Allaah has made available at their disposal, whilst striving to repel and reject them out of ignorance and wrongdoing. And how numerous a blessing is granted to one of them, whilst he is eager to strive his hardest to repel it! And how much reaches him while he was eager to repel and remove it due to his injustice and ignorance! Allaah [The Exalted] said:

[ذَٲلِكَ بِأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَمۡ يَكُ مُغَيِّرً۬ا نِّعۡمَةً أَنۡعَمَهَا عَلَىٰ قَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۙ – That is so because Allah will never change a grace which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in their ownselves]. [Surah Al-Anfaal. Verse 53]

Allaah [The Exalted] said: [إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۗ – Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah)]. [Surah Rad. Verse 11]

There is not a greater enemy against a blessing than the soul that (whispers evil to the person), because he overcomes himself together with his enemy. His enemy throws fire on his blessings while he blows on it – enables him to throw fire and then helps him to blow it. (9)

We ask Allaah to preserve our wives for us and preserve us for them, overlook our shortcomings and bestow abundant mercy upon us, our parents and families. We ask Allaah to include us amongst those who are grateful and thankful to Him and the people Aameen.


[Ref 1: Sharh Saheeh Muslim. Vol 9. page 179. Publisher. Dar Kutub Al-Ilmiyyah. 1st Edition 1421AH (Year 2000)]

[Ref 2: Saheeh Ibn Maajah 1866]

[Ref 3: An Excerpt from ‘Ar-Rooh’ pages 487-489. slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 4: At-ta’leeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah. Vol 1 page 277. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 5: An Excerpt from Fat-hul Baari Sharh Saheeh Al-Bukhaari Hadeeth 5228. Vol 9, Pages 404- 405. Slightly paraphrased. Publisher. Daarus Salaam. 1st Edition 1421AH [Year 2000]

[Ref 6: Sunan Abu Dawud. Number 4811]

[Ref 7: Declared Saheeh By Imaam Al-Albaanee in ‘Irwaa al-Ghaleel. Number 1617]

[Ref8:https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/15472/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%D9%89-%D8%AD%D8%AF%D9%8A%D8%AB-%D9%85%D9%86-%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%8A%D8%B4%D9%83%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D9%88%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87 paraphrased]

[Ref 9: Al-Fawaa’id 259-260. slightly paraphrased]

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Contemporary Issues Family & Women Marriage (Nikkah) Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq' Pearls of Wisdom Purification of The Soul Scholars of Islam Worship - 'Ibaadah'

Marrying a Much Younger Woman!

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Imaam Al-Bukhaaree [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “Chapter: To Marry Virgins”. Aa’isha [may Allaah be pleased with her] said, “I said,’O Allaah’s Messenger! Suppose you landed in a valley where there is a tree of which something has been eaten and then you found trees of which nothing has been eaten, of which tree would you let your camel graze?’ He said, ‘I will let my camel graze of the one of which nothing has been eaten before'”. The sub narrator added, “Aisha meant that Allaah’s Messenger had not married a virgin besides herself”. [Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree. Number 5077]

Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah haver mercy upon him] stated, “In this is an encouragement to marry a virgin, because she has not been put to any trial by the people and this is more likely to (bring about) harmony between her and her husband, except when the need calls for other than that”. (1)

Imaam Al-Bukhaaree [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “Chapter: The Marrying off a Young Lady to An Elderly Man”. Urwa [may Allaah be pleased with him] reported that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] asked AbuBakr [may Allaah be pleased with him] for Aisha’s hand in marriage. AbuBakr said, “But I am your brother”. The Prophet said, “You are my brother in Allaah’s Religion and His Book, but she (Aisha) is lawful for me to marry”. [Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree. Number 5081]

Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “This shows that brotherhood for Allaah’s Sake and friendship does not prevent (a person from marrying the daughter of his friend). What is forbidden for a brother is to marry (those) relatives forbidden for him”. (2)

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Finally, one must be acquainted with Marriage in the UK at present. The age specified for marriage in England and Wales is 18, whether the marriage is registered at a local council or not. Facilitating marriages below this age or doing so abroad could face jail or fines. Therefore, do not engage in anything regarding this affair and thus open a door of great trial for yourself and others.


[Ref 1: Al-Hulalul Ibreeziyyah Min At-Taleeqaat Al-baaziyyah Alaa Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree Volume 4; Hadith Number: 5077; Footnote:3]
[Ref 2: Al-Hulalul Ibreeziyyah Min At-Taleeqaat Al-baaziyyah Alaa Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree Volume 4. Footnote Number:1]

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Contemporary Issues Da'wah - Calling To Islam Family & Women Marriage (Nikkah) Morals and Manners - 'Akhlaaq' Purification of The Soul Sin Worship - 'Ibaadah'

‘I Will Not Be Silenced’- [Me Too Movement to Stop Harassment]!

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

O Muslims! Yes, do not be silent when any human being is oppressed- man or woman, but do not be oblivious of the root causes of sin and the only means to uprooting it.

The Importance of Marriage

Imaam Al-Bukhaari [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: Chapter: The Statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): ”Whoever is able to marry, should marry, for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.)”. And should a person marry (even if) he has no desire for marriage?

Narrated Alqamah: while I was with Abdullaah, Uthman met him at Mina and said, ”O Abu Abdur-Rahmaan! I have something to say to you”. So both of them went aside and uthmaan said, ”O Abu Abdur-Rahmaan! Shall we marry you to a virgin who will make you remember your past days? When Abdullaah felt that he was not in need of that, he beckoned me (to join him) saying, ‘O Alqamah’. Then I heard him saying (in reply to Uthmaan), ‘As you have said that, (I tell you that) the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) once said to us, ‘O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe fast as fasting will diminish his sexual strength”’.

Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated: ”Therefore, to get marriage is the correct (thing to do) as a complete obligation upon the one who has Shahwa (sexual desires) even if he is not in fear of falling to Zinaa. This is with regards to the one whose situation allows him to get married. And in this is a (manifestation) of Uthman’s righteous moral conduct. It (shows) that the elderly person can get married as long as he has the strength for sexual relations. And the main address (in this hadith) is directed at the young people, because in most cases they possess greater desires and are more in need of that (i.e. fulfilment of such desires). [Ref 1]

An Affair That Should Make Us Shy In The Presence of Allaah – Whether We Are Married or Not – When The Soul Inclines Towards Sin

Allaah [The Most High] said:

وَلَقَدۡ خَلَقۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ وَنَعۡلَمُ مَا تُوَسۡوِسُ بِهِۦ نَفۡسُهُ ۥ‌ۖ وَنَحۡنُ أَقۡرَبُ إِلَيۡهِ مِنۡ حَبۡلِ ٱلۡوَرِيدِ
إِذۡ يَتَلَقَّى ٱلۡمُتَلَقِّيَانِ عَنِ ٱلۡيَمِينِ وَعَنِ ٱلشِّمَالِ قَعِيدٌ۬
مَّا يَلۡفِظُ مِن قَوۡلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيۡهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌ۬

And indeed We have created man, and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge). (Remember!) that the two receivers (recording angels) receive (each human being after he or she has attained the age of puberty), one sitting on the right and one on the left (to note his or her actions). Not a word does he (or she) utter, but there is a watcher by him ready (to record it). [50:16-18]

Few Reminders from the above Aayaat: Allaah [The Most High] informed us that He alone created human beings-males and females- and He knows all their state of affairs. He knows everything that is hidden about them and what their own souls whisper to them. Allaah [The Most High] is nearer to them than their jugular veins by His knowledge, even though the jugular vein is the closest thing to the human. Therefore, this should make the human being mindful of Allaah -the One Who knows all the hidden affairs in the soul and heart of the human being in all circumstances. This should also make the human being shy in the presence of Allaah -that he [or she] is not seen committing what Allaah has forbidden or abandoning what Allaah has commanded. [Ref 2]

Abdullah Bin Mas’ood [may Allaah be pleased with him] said that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Be shy of Allaah (in a manner) shyness should be (established)”, so they [i.e. the Messenger’s companions (may Allaah be pleased with them)] said, “We do feel of Allaah, and all praise and thanks be to Allaah”. The prophet said, “It is not like that; rather the one who is truly shy of Allaah, let him safeguard his head and what it carries; safeguards the stomach and what it carries; remembers death and affliction. And he who wants the Afterlife should do away with the adornments of this life, then indeed he is truly shy of Allaah [The Mighty and Majestic]”.

Al-Mubaarakfooree [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated regarding the statement of the Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him], “Be shy of Allaah (in a manner) shyness should be (established)”– Meaning: “A firm, abiding and truthful shyness”. And regarding the statement of the Messenger’s companions, “We do feel shy of Allaah”, Al-Mubaarakfooree said, “They said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah! We do feel shy of Allaah and all praise and thanks be to Allaah’ but they did not say, ‘We are truly shy of Allaah’ due to their acknowledgement of the fact that they are unable to do so. And regarding their statement, ‘And all praise and thanks be to Allaah’ – Meaning, all praise and thanks be to Allaah for granting us Tawfeeq [i.e. for guiding and enabling us to perform righteous deeds]. And regarding the statement of the Messenger, “It is not like that”, Al-Mubaarakfooree said, “Meaning, true shyness is not what you think, rather it is to safeguard all the limbs against what is not pleasing to Allaah”.

And regarding the statement of the Messenger, “Rather the one who is truly shy of Allaah, let him safeguard his head and what it carries; safeguards the stomach and what it carries; remembers death and affliction. And he who wants the Afterlife should do away with the adornments of this life, then indeed he is truly shy of Allaah [The Mighty and Majestic]”. Al-Mubaarakfooree said, “Meaning, safeguard the head by refraining from utilising it in disobedience to Allaah – that is you do not make Sujood to other than Allaah; refrain from showoff whilst praying; do not lower your head (in humility) for other than the sake of Allaah, nor raise it out of pride. And with regards to what the head carries, such as the tongue, the eyes and the ears, do not utilise them for Haraam. Safeguard the stomach by refraining from eating Haraam as well as safeguarding what is connected to it – such as the private parts, the legs, the two hands and the heart- (from what is Haraam)”.

“Remembers death and affliction”– Meaning, remember death and your abode in the grave. “And he who wants the Afterlife should do away with the adornments of this life”– Meaning, because the two cannot be combined in a perfect manner, even those who are strong [in Eemaan] cannot do so [i.e. perfect desire for the afterlife has to be combined with abandoning those enjoyable things of the worldly life which one can do without]. So, whoever does this [i.e. the things mentioned this hadeeth], then indeed he is truly shy of Allaah. [Ref 3]

The Heart’s Attachment to Other Than Allaah, Indecency And Injustice – The Basis of all Sinful Behaviour

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [rahimahullaah] said: The basis of all sins – major and minor – are three: the heart’s attachment to other than Allaah, going along with the intense strength of one’s anger and the intense urge of one’s desires. These three affairs constitute shirk, injustice and indecency. Shirk and invoking other than Allaah is the ultimate affair related to the heart’s attachment to other than Allaah, murder is the ultimate affair related to going along with one’s intense anger and fornication is the ultimate affair related to going along with the intense urge of one’s desires. And because this Allaah mentioned the three together in the [following] Aayah:

وَٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَدۡعُونَ مَعَ ٱللَّهِ إِلَـٰهًا ءَاخَرَ وَلَا يَقۡتُلُونَ ٱلنَّفۡسَ ٱلَّتِى حَرَّمَ ٱللَّهُ إِلَّا بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَلَا يَزۡنُونَ

And those who invoke not any other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse. [Surah Al-Furqaan. Aayah 68]

These three affairs invite to one another – Shirk inevitably leads to injustice and indecency, just as Tawheed [sound Islamic Monotheism] and Ikhlaas [sincerity] turns a person away from them. Allaah [The Exalted] stated [about Prophet Yusuf (alayhis salaam)]: [ڪَذَٲلِكَ لِنَصۡرِفَ عَنۡهُ ٱلسُّوٓءَ وَٱلۡفَحۡشَآءَ‌ۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ مِنۡ عِبَادِنَا ٱلۡمُخۡلَصِينَ – Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and indecency. Surely, he was one of Our chosen, guided slaves. [Surah Yusuf. Aayah 24] – Meaning, turned him away from infatuation and illegal sexual intercourse. Likewise, injustice inevitably leads to Shirk and indecency, because Shirk is the greatest injustice, just as Tawheed is the greatest justice. Justice is a companion of Tawheed and injustice is a companion of Shirk, and this is why Allaah mentioned both together.
As for Tawheed and justice, Allaah said: [شَهِدَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّهُ ۥ لَآ إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ وَٱلۡمَلَـٰٓٮِٕكَةُ وَأُوْلُواْ ٱلۡعِلۡمِ قَآٮِٕمَۢا بِٱلۡقِسۡطِ – Allah bears witness that Laa ilaaha illaa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), and the angels, and those having knowledge (also give this witness); (He is always) maintaining His creation in Justice. [Surah Aal Imraan. Aayah 18]

As for injustice and Shirk, Allaah said: [إِنَّ ٱلشِّرۡكَ لَظُلۡمٌ عَظِيمٌ۬ – Verily, Shirk is great injustice]. [Surah Luqmaan. Aayah 13]

Indecency leads to Shirk and Injustice, especially when there is a strong desire which cannot be reached except through some type of injustice, such as seeking help through magic and shaytaan. And indeed Allaah mentioned both fornication and Shirk together in the Aayah:

ٱلزَّانِى لَا يَنكِحُ إِلَّا زَانِيَةً أَوۡ مُشۡرِكَةً۬ وَٱلزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنكِحُهَآ إِلَّا زَانٍ أَوۡ مُشۡرِكٌ۬‌ۚ وَحُرِّمَ ذَٲلِكَ عَلَى ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ

The adulterer marries not but an adulteress, or a female polytheist and the adulteress none marries her except an adulterer or a male polytheist [and that means that the man who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a female polytheist, pagan or idolatress) or a prostitute, then surely he is either an adulterer, or a polytheist)]. And the woman who agrees to marry (have a sexual relation with) a male polytheist or an adulterer, then she is either a prostitute or a female polytheist)]. Such a thing is forbidden to the believers [of Islamic Monotheism]. [Surah An-Noor. Aayah 3]

These three affairs [i.e. Shirk, Indecency and Injustice] can either be the cause of one another or inevitably lead to one another. And this is why whenever Tawheed in the heart is weaker and the Shirk in it is greater, it commits more indecency, becomes stronger in its attachment to images and infatuated with them. And what is similar to this is the statement of Allaah:

فَمَآ أُوتِيتُم مِّن شَىۡءٍ۬ فَمَتَـٰعُ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنۡيَا‌ۖ وَمَا عِندَ ٱللَّهِ خَيۡرٌ۬ وَأَبۡقَىٰ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَلَىٰ رَبِّہِمۡ يَتَوَكَّلُونَ
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَجۡتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓٮِٕرَ ٱلۡإِثۡمِ وَٱلۡفَوَٲحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُواْ هُمۡ يَغۡفِرُونَ

So whatever you have been given is but a passing enjoyment for this worldly life, but that which is with Allah (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism) and put their trust in their Lord (concerning all of their affairs). And those who avoid the greater sins and indecency, and when they are angry, they forgive. [Surah Ash-Shooraa. Aayaat 36-37]

Allaah informed us that what He has with Him is better for the one who believes in Him and relies upon him, and that is Tawheed. Then Allaah said: [وَٱلَّذِينَ يَجۡتَنِبُونَ كَبَـٰٓٮِٕرَ ٱلۡإِثۡمِ وَٱلۡفَوَٲحِشَ – And those who avoid the greater sins and indecency] – Meaning, avoid the intense urge towards lowly desires. Then Allaah said: [وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُواْ هُمۡ يَغۡفِرُونَ – And when they are angry, they pardon]. This opposes the intense strength of anger; so Allaah mentioned Tawheed, pardon and justice together, and they are that which gathers every good. [Ref 4]

The Extremely Difficult Circumstances That Surrounded Yusuf [alayhis Salaam] When The Wife of The King Sought to Seduce Him!

Imaam Sadi [rahimahullaah] said: Allaah has placed in man’s nature an inclination towards a woman, just like the inclination of a thirsty person towards water and that of a hungry person towards food. And even though many people do exercise patience with regards to their [desire] for food and drink, but not with regards to their [desire] for women. This is not blameworthy if it is in accordance with what is permissible, rather it is something praiseworthy.

Yusuf- at the time- was a young man and the sexual desire of a young man is much stronger. He was a bachelor, a slave of the king’s wife and was bought for a few dirhams. And a slave has no control over his affairs. He was a stranger in the land and a stranger in a strange land can fulfil his [evil] desires, which he is not able to fulfil in his own land, in the presence of his family and those who know him well [i.e. because he feels ashamed]

The wife of the King was a woman of high status and beauty; so one these two [affairs] would urge a person to agree with her request. The wife of the king was accessible [i.e. she was willing to commit the evil act of zina]. She sought after Yusuf; she desired him and was infatuated with him. Yusuf was living in her house, under her authority and would have feared being harmed for refusing to obey her. Yusuf was safe from being exposed because she sought after him and locked the doors. She also appeared in her best adornment and said to Yusuf, ‘Come on O you!’ She also threatened Yusuf with imprisonment and belittlement. She sought the assistance of the rest of the women and Yusuf sought the assistance of Allaah against them. Despite all these difficult circumstances surrounding Yusuf (alayhis-salaam), he exercised patience and preferred obedience to his Lord. He preferred the pleasure of Allaah and fear of Him. His love of Allaah made him choose imprisonment over committing zina. He said: [قَالَ رَبِّ السِّجْنُ أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا يَدْعُونَنِي إِلَيْهِ ] ‘He said: ‘O my Lord! Prison is dearer to me than that to which they invite me.’ [12:33]

So What Was The End Result? Yusuf was granted honour and authority in the land. He was mentioned with good and beautiful praise. This was his reward in this worldly life and his reward in the hereafter is Paradise. [Ref 5]

Women Are Not Sexual Objects

The Messenger [sallal laahu alayhi wasallam] said: “Verily the worldly life is sweet and green, and verily Allaah is going to place you as successors upon it in and will see how you act. So, be mindful of the dunyaah and be mindful of women; verily the first trial for the Children of Israa’eel was caused by women.” [Saheeh Muslim: No 2742) (Ibn Maajah: No 4000) (Ahmad: 3:22)]

Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [rahimahullaah] said regarding the statement of the Messenger [sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam], “Verily The Worldly Life Is Sweet And Green”- meaning: Sweet in taste and green in its image. And when something is green and sweet, the eye seeks it first and then the Nafs; and when the eye and the nafs come together in seeking after something, the human being is drawn close to falling into it. The worldly life is sweet in its taste and green in its image, so the human being is deceived by it and pre-occupied with it. He places greater importance on it than what is due to it (of importance). However, the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) has made it known that Allaah is going to place us as successors upon (the earth) in order to see how we act; whether we will be obedient to Him, forbid the nafs from desires, fulfil what Allaah has enjoined upon us and not allow the worldly life to deceive you or whether the opposite will take place? This is why he [sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam] said, “Be Mindful Of The Worldly Life”, that is: fulfil what you have been commanded and refrain from that which you have been forbidden, and do not let the sweetness and radiance of this worldly life to deceive you, as Allaah said: [فَلَا تَغُرَّنَّڪُمُ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَا وَلَا يَغُرَّنَّڪُم بِٱللَّهِ ٱلۡغَرُورُ – [Let not then this (worldly) present life deceive you, nor let the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allaah]. [31:33]

Then he [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] stated, “So Be Mindful Of The Worldly Life And Be Mindful Of Women”- meaning: Be mindful of them. This includes a warning to the woman with regards to her plot(s) against her husband and also a warning against women and the trial that can occur through them. And for that reason he [sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam] said, “Verily The First Trial For The Children Of Israa’eel Was Caused By Women”. They were put to trial through women, thus they went astray and led others astray, and Allaah refuge is sought!

And for this reason, we find that at present our enemies are focused on women issues. [They focus] on adorning women, intermingling them and make them share the same occupations with men, until it becomes as if the people are donkeys having no other concern except for their stomachs and canal desires, and Allaah’s Refuge is sought! Women are portrayed as if they are mere images, that is: pictures (which) people attached no importance to except that which is connected to the woman’s figure (outward appearance). See how they have decorated and beautified her! See how they have brought about beautifications for her and presented her in a desirable condition, in relation to (her) hair, skin, legs, arms, face and everything else; until they make it the most important issue for the woman, like a picture made out of plastic. They neither present to her the importance of establishing Ibaadah nor bearing children. [Slightly paraphrased] [Ref 6]

Exposing The Awrah

Abu Salih reported: Abu Huraira, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Some women are clothed but naked, inclining to evil and seducing with it. They will not enter Paradise, nor smell its fragrance, even though it can be found from a distance of five hundred years of travel.” [Ref 7]

Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: This has been explained to mean that they will wear short clothing that does not cover the parts of the body one is obligated to cover [i.e. the entire body of a woman is to be covered besides the face and hands]. It has been explained to mean that they will wear revealing clothing that does not prevent one from seeing the woman’s skin. And it has been explained to mean that they will wear tifght clothing which covers the body, but reveals that which leads to trial through a woman. [Ref 8]

NB: Regarding the statement ”They will not enter Paradise, nor smell its fragrance, even though it can be found from a distance of five hundred years of travel”. Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, ”The sinners [i.e. those who die whilst committing sins lesser than Shirk] are under the will of Allaah- if Allaah wishes, He will either punish or forgive them straight away, or He enters them into hell for some time and paradise thereafter, just as Allaah said: [إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يَغۡفِرُ أَن يُشۡرَكَ بِهِۦ وَيَغۡفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٲلِكَ لِمَن يَشَآءُ‌ۚ – Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should be set up with him in worship, but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He pleases]. [Surah An-Nisaa’ Aayah 48] [Ref 9]

Shaytaan Entices Humankind to Expose The Awrah

Al-Allaamah Saaleh Al-Fawzaan [may Allaah preserve him] said: Indeed shaytaan’s enmity towards the human being is an old affair since the time of his father Aadam [alayhis-salaam]. He has not ceased plotting against the human being in order to destroy him, as Allah stated [that shaytaan] said: [لَٮِٕنۡ أَخَّرۡتَنِ إِلَىٰ يَوۡمِ ٱلۡقِيَـٰمَةِ لَأَحۡتَنِكَنَّ ذُرِّيَّتَهُ ۥۤ إِلَّا قَلِيلاً۬ – If You give me respite (keep me alive) to the Day of Resurrection, I will surely seize and mislead his offspring (by sending them astray) all but a few!’ [17:62]

And one of the greatest plots of shaytaan against the human being is the uncovering of the private parts due to what is found in that of obscenity and immorality, loss of shyness and modesty. So he conspired against Aadam and his wife to eat from the forbidden tree, ‘In order to uncover that which was hidden from them of their private parts’ [7:20]

So, Aadam [alayhis-salaam] sinned and Allah censured him for that. He turned repentant to Allah and Allah forgave him, and cut off the path towards listening to shaytaan. However, the effect of the sin remained, [and led to] his expulsion from Paradise. This increased Aadam in repentance and striving in obedience to his Lord. ‘Then his Lord chose him, and turned to him with forgiveness, and gave him guidance’ [20:122] So, shaytaan failed in attaining his goal and there came about for Aadam nobility and a good end, which shaytaan could not take away.

Then Allah [Glorified be He] warned the children of Aadam against the plots of this enemy who did what he did to their father, so that they are not deceived and made to fall into destruction through the path of negligence with regards to uncovering the private parts. Allaah [Glorified be He] provided them with two [types] of garments to cover their private parts: The garment to cover and beautify themselves and the garment that shields them from sins and beatifies them both outwardly and inwardly, and that is the garment of piety that is made to settle in their hearts. Allah [Glorified be He] said: [يَـٰبَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ قَدۡ أَنزَلۡنَا عَلَيۡكُمۡ لِبَاسً۬ا يُوَٲرِى سَوۡءَٲتِكُمۡ وَرِيشً۬ا‌ۖ وَلِبَاسُ ٱلتَّقۡوَىٰ ذَٲلِكَ خَيۡرٌ۬‌ۚ – O Children of Aadam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts) and as an adornment; and the raiment of taqwah, that is better’ [7:26]

[يَـٰبَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ لَا يَفۡتِنَنَّڪُمُ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنُ كَمَآ أَخۡرَجَ أَبَوَيۡكُم مِّنَ ٱلۡجَنَّةِ يَنزِعُ عَنۡہُمَا لِبَاسَہُمَا لِيُرِيَهُمَا سَوۡءَٲتِہِمَآ‌ۗ – O Children of Aadam! Let not shaytaan deceive you, as he got your parents [Aadam and Hawwaa] out of Paradise, stripping them of their raiments, to show them their private parts’ [7:27]

Allah did not issue this warning to His slaves, except that because shaytaan would be pleased to gain victory over them again, so that he may command them [to commit the act of] nudity and removal of the covering and garment of modesty due to what is in that of evil aims and lowly desires. Indeed, he executed this plot against the people of the era of Pre-Islamic ignorance; he ordered men and women to perform Tawaaf around the kabah (whilst) naked, and he said to them: “Do not perform Tawaaf with the clothes you wore whilst being disobedient to Allah’. So, they obeyed him and argued that this is what they found their forefathers upon and that it is what Allah commanded them. [Ref 10]

In Seclusion With a Stranger

Shaikh Saaleh Aala Ash-Shaikh [hafidhahullaah] said: It is neither permissible for a man to be in seclusion with a woman in a house, a car or another place, nor is it permissible for a woman to be in seclusion with a strange man in a house, a car or another place. This is due to the saying of the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam), “Let not any of you be in seclusion with a woman, except in the presence of a male relative of hers.” (i.e. a relative she is not allowed to marry, such as her father, husband, brother, uncle, grandfather etc ) [Bukhaari and Muslim]

And also in (Bukhaari and Muslim) the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said, “A man is not secluded with a woman, except that shaytaan is the third of them”. The impermissible seclusion is that which includes behind closed doors or in a room, a car and what is similar to it, or being out of sight. These are the cases of forbidden seclusion and this is how it is defined by the jurists. [Ref 11]

Allaamah Saaleh Al-Fawzaan [hafidhahullaah] said: Firstly: Allaah commanded (us) to lower the gaze because the eyes are a means among the means to fornication. [Allaah said: قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ – Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) 24:30]. Therefore, lowering the gaze is a means to protecting the private parts. And Allaah (جلال وعلا) said: [يَعْلَمُ خَائِنَةَ الْأَعْيُنِ وَمَا تُخْفِي الصُّدُورُ – Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal (40:19)]
What is fraud of the eyes? It is when one steals a glance at what Allaah has forbidden. When (a person) is with the people and the people are looking at him, he lowers his gaze; but when he sees that they are inattentive, he steals a glance at the unlawful. This is the fraud of the eyes and Allaah knows about it. [Ref 12]

Imaam Maymoon Bin Mehraan [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “Do not go to a woman [i.e. a strange woman] even if you say, ‘I am going to teach him the Qur’aan and do not lend an ear to a person of desires [i.e. a proponent of religious innovations] because you do not know what your heart will become attached to.” [Ref 13]
Al-Alaa Bin Ziyaad [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: “Do not [allow] your eyes to follow the garment of a woman because one’s gaze places desire in the heart’’. [Ref 14]

Al-Allaamah Saaleh al Fawzaan [may Allaah preserve him] said: Safety from the fitnah of women is by way of lowering the gaze, distancing oneself from paying attention to them and [distancing oneself from] following them. Allaah [The Most High] said:

 قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts from (illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what you do]. [24:30]

So, lower your gaze from that which Allaah has made forbidden and do not enter places of fitnah so that you are safeguarded. This is one of the means to safety from fitnah. [Ref 15]

Al-Allaamah Saaleh Al-Fawzaan [may Allaah preserve him] said: ”Lowering one’s gaze is a means to protecting the private parts and not restraining one gaze is a means to corrupting the private parts. Therefore, if you want to protect your private parts from lewdness, lower your gaze. If you leave your eyesight roam about freely – looking at what Allaah has made unlawful- then indeed it will lead you to lewdness”. [Ref 16]

Free Mixing In The Schools, Colleges – By Committee of Senior Scholars

The reason behind the prohibition against free mixing between men and women is due to fear of falling into fitnah, lest it becomes a means to committing lewd acts; (a means) to violating the honour of women and corrupting the society. And indeed these affairs can become a greater reality through free mixing in education. Therefore, it (free mixing in education) is forbidden. [Ref 17]

More on free mixing on this link
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/free-mixing-between-the-sexes-in-islam-a-detailed-discussion/

Hijaab Of The Muslim Woman and It’s Conditions: Download Leaflet
https://www.abukhadeejah.com/hijaab-of-the-muslim-woman-and-its-conditions-download-leaflet/

We ask Allaah to keep us and our families chaste Aameen.


[Ref 1: Al-Hulalul Ibreeziyyah Min At-Taleeqaat Al-baaziyyah Alaa Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree Volume 4; Hadith No:5065; Footnote Number 2]
[Ref 2: An Excerpt from ‘Tayseer Al-kareem Ar-Rahmaan Fee Tafseer Kalaam Al-Mannaan’. Slightly paraphrased]
[Ref 3: Tuhfatul Ahwadhiy. 7/131. Slightly paraphrased]
[An Excerpt from Al-Fawaa’id 131-132. Slightly paraphrased]
[Ref 5: An Excerpt from ‘Al-Asbaab Wal A’maal Allatee Yudaa-afu Bihaa Ath-Thawaab’ by Imaam Sadi (rahimahullaah) pages: 55-58]
[Ref 6: An Excerpt from this lecture: https://safeshare.tv/x/fKxP_Mt7o9w# ]
[Ref 7: Al-Muwaṭṭa 1694]
[Ref 8: Fataawaa Shaikh Muhammad Bin Utrhaymeen. 2/825]
[Ref 9: https://www.binbaz.org.sa/noor/2527]
[Ref 10: An Excerpt from ‘Al-Bayaan Li-Akhtaa’i Ba’dil Kuttaab’ page 3/135-136. slightly paraphrased]
[Ref 11: Source: Al-Mindhaar Fee Bayaani Katheer Minal Akhtaa Ash-shaa-i-a: 112-113 of Shaikh Saaleh Aala Shaikh]
[Ref 12: It’haaf At-Tullaab Bi-Sharhi Mandhommah Al’Aadaab pages 89- 90. paraphrased]
[Ref 13: Hilyatul Awliyaa (Tahdheeb) 2/54]
[Ref 14: Az-Zudh By Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullaah). 311]
[Ref 15: Source: Sil-silatu Mu-allifaat Fadheelatus Sheikh No: 7. page: 43-44]
[Ref 16: It’haaf At-Tullaab Bi-Sharhi Mandhommah Al’Aadaab’ page 87. Slightly paraphrased]
[Ref 17: Fataawaa Al-Lajnah Ad-Daa’imah 12/169]

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Marriage First or Seeking Knowledge First? [Al-Allaamah Rabee Bin Haadee’s Advice]

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Al-Allaamah Rabee Bin Haadi Al-Madkhalee [may Allaah preserve him] said: If you are able to exercise patience and seek knowledge, then exercise patience- meaning, study before getting married, just as Umar [radiyallaahu-anhu] said that “Some people might be prevented from [seeking] knowledge due to marriage’’. So, when he gets married, he abandons seeking knowledge and becomes relaxed, and tires himself [i.e. it becomes difficult for him to combine  family responsibilities and seeking knowledge at the same time]. But if he has the ability to combine the Maslahatayn [i.e. the benefits of marriage and seeking knowledge], then that is good, [as long as] he does not consider himself as one who will commit wicked deeds and fornicate; [for] if this is the case, then -by Allaah- it becomes more obligatory on him to get married to protect himself and guard his chastity. http://www.rabee.net/ar/questions.php?cat=51&id=623 paraphrased. Your feedback is welcome to improve the content of this article Baarakallaahu Feekum

Why Was Shaikhul Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaah) Unmarried throughout His Life? Al-Allaamah Saaleh Al-Fawzaan [hafidhahullaah] clarifies

Why Was Shaikhul Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaah) Unmarried throughout His Life? Shaikh Saaleh Al-Fawzaan clarifies – Salaficentre.com

 

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Part 1: Bias Writer Disapproves of Men Who Are Married to More Than One Woman, But Suggests Illegal Sexual Intercourse to Muslim Men! [A Brief Gentle Response Before a Possible Stern Rebuttal]

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allaah [The Mighty and Majestic] said:

إِنَّ هَـٰذَا ٱلۡقُرۡءَانَ يَہۡدِى لِلَّتِى هِىَ أَقۡوَمُ

Verily, this Qur’an guides to that which is most just and right. [Surah Al-Israa. Aayah 9]

Imaam Muhammad Al-Ameen Bin Muhammad Al-Mukhtaar Ash-Shanqeeti [rahimahullaah] said:

And from the guidance of the Qur’aan to that which is most just and right is that it allows [a man to marry] four wives; but if the man fears that he cannot be just between them, then he is to restrict himself to one or those whom his right hand possesses, as Allaah (The Most High) stated:

وَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ أَلَّا تُقۡسِطُواْ فِى ٱلۡيَتَـٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثۡنَىٰ وَثُلَـٰثَ وَرُبَـٰعَ‌ۖ فَإِنۡ خِفۡتُمۡ أَلَّا تَعۡدِلُواْ فَوَٲحِدَةً أَوۡ مَا مَلَكَتۡ أَيۡمَـٰنُكُمۡ‌ۚ ذَٲلِكَ أَدۡنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُواْ

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan- girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. [Surah An-Nisaa. Ayah:3]

No doubt the path that is the most just and right of paths is that which legitimizes for a man to have more than one wife due to the tangible affairs known to every sensible person. And from those affairs is that an individual woman menstruates, falls ill and contends with other hindrances that prevent her from fulfilling the more specific duties of marriage, whereas a man is readily prepared as a means to increasing the Ummah.

And from those affairs is that Allaah made it a common phenomenon that men are fewer in number than women in the various regions of the world and are more often exposed to the causes of death in all walks of life.  If a man were restricted to one wife, there would remain a great number of women deprived of marriage, so they [both men and women] will be strongly urged towards illegal sexual intercourse. Therefore, turning away from the guidance of the Qur’aan in this affair is one of the greatest causes of moral deprivation. It is (one of the greatest causes) of being lowered to the level of animals due to a lack of safeguarding chastity, preservation of nobility, good moral conduct and manners. So Glorified and Exalted is (Allaah) above all that evil they associate with Him, The All-Wise, Well-Acquainted with all things.  Allaah said:

الٓر‌ۚ كِتَـٰبٌ أُحۡكِمَتۡ ءَايَـٰتُهُ ۥ ثُمَّ فُصِّلَتۡ مِن لَّدُنۡ حَكِيمٍ خَبِيرٍ

‘(This is) a Book, the verses whereof are perfected (in every sphere of knowledge), and then explained in detail from One (Allaah), Who is All-Wise, Well-Acquainted (with all things)’ [Surah Hood. Ayah 1]

And from those affairs is that women are all readily prepared for marriage, whereas many men do not have the ability to fulfil the requirements of marriage due to poverty.  Those prepared for marriage amongst men are fewer than those amongst women. A woman is not hindered whereas a man is hindered by poverty and the ability to fulfil the requirements of marriage. If a man were restricted to one woman, many women prepared for marriage would have missed the opportunity for marriage. This would become a cause for loss of virtue, (a means to) depravation and moral decadence, and the opportunity to preserve the human race would be lost.

So if a man fears that he will not be able to deal justly between the wives, then it is incumbent upon him to restrict himself to one or to those whom his right hand possesses; because Allaah has stated:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأۡمُرُ بِٱلۡعَدۡلِ وَٱلۡإِحۡسَـٰنِ

Verily, Allaah enjoins justice and kind treatment. [Surah Nahl. Aayah 90]

It is not permissible to incline towards giving preferential (treatment) with regards to the rights given by the divine law to each of the wives due to the saying of Allaah:

وَلَن تَسۡتَطِيعُوٓاْ أَن تَعۡدِلُواْ بَيۡنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ وَلَوۡ حَرَصۡتُمۡ‌ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُواْ ڪُلَّ ٱلۡمَيۡلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَٱلۡمُعَلَّقَةِ

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives [regarding what is hidden in your heart as to who amongst them you love the most] even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them [by giving her more of your time and provision] so as to leave the other hanging [i.e. neither divorced nor being given the rights due to her]. [Surah An-Nisaa. Aayah: 129]

As for the natural inclination towards loving some of them more than others, the human being is not able to prevent this because it is an emotional (affair) and the soul’s desire, but it is not something that is acted upon [i.e. leads to injustice]. This is what is intended by Allaah’s statement:

وَلَن تَسۡتَطِيعُوٓاْ أَن تَعۡدِلُواْ بَيۡنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ

You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives. [Surah Nisaa; Ayah: 129]

The claim of some of the disbelievers amongst the enemies of Islaam is that to have more than one wife necessitates constant argumentation and disagreement which ends up in a life of misery, because whenever one of the wives is pleased the other is angered, so the two (wives) are always in displeasure and this is not wisdom.

This (above statement of some of the disbelievers) is a worthless statement whose worthlessness is clear to every sensible person. That is because argument and disagreement between individual members of a family does not cease, because it takes place between a man and his mother, father, children and his only wife. It is a common affair of no great concern alongside the overriding tremendous benefits of marrying more than one woman, such as safeguarding women, facilitating marriage for them and increasing the number of the Ummah so that they can stand firm against the enemies of Islaam in every affair; and an overriding tremendous benefit takes precedence over prevention of a small harm. [Ref 1]

Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [rahimahullaah] said:

If a person marries (several women) in order to protect himself from (Zina) and to increase in numbers of children, then there is no problem in this. However, it should not be for the (purpose) of playing around. [Ref 2]

Finally: Who are those whom your right hand possess?

Listen to audio here by Shaikh Abdul Waahid Abu Khadeejah [hafidhahullaah]:

https://video.link/w/Qbaub

https://video.link/w/lUZtb

 


[Ref 1. An Excerpt from Tafseerul Qur’aan Bil Qur’aan Min Adwaa Al-Bayaan. Pages 428-429. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 2: Al-Hulalul Ibreeziyyah Min At-Taleeqaat Al-baaziyyah Alaa Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree Volume 4; Hadith Number:5069.  Footnote Number 3]

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Do Not Oppress your Family, Your Wife or Others – Shaykh ‘Abdul Azīz b. Bāz

Do Not Oppress your Family, Your Wife or Others. – Shaykh ‘Abdul Azīz b. Bāz


Oppression is from the most disgusting, despicable of major sins, it’s evil consequences Allāh (The Glorified) has informed us of in His Tremendous Book:

وَمَن يَظْلِم مِّنكُمْ نُذِقْهُ عَذَابًا كَبِيرًا

And whoever among you does wrong, We shall make him taste a great torment. (Al-Furqān: 19)

And Allāh says:

وَالظَّالِمُونَ مَا لَهُم مِّن وَلِيٍّ وَلَا نَصِيرٍ

And the Dhālimun (polytheists and wrong-doers, etc.) will have neither a Wali (protector) nor a helper. (Ash-Shūra: 8)

Hence, oppression is a great evil and it has evil consequences, the Messenger (sallāhu alayhi wa salam) said:

“Fear oppression for indeed oppression is darkness on the day of resurrection.” (Muslim)

Furthermore, Allāh has said in a Hadīth Qudsī (which is narrated by the Prophet (sallāhu alayhi wa salam)):

“Oh my servant! Indeed I have forbidden oppression upon myself and between you, so do not oppress.” (Muslim)

Therefore, it is obligatory to be cautious of perpetrating oppression to any of the people, whether it be your family, your wife, your brothers, your children, your mother, your father, your neighbours and other than them.

Likewise, do not oppress your employees, give them their wages in full, every month (for e.g.) give him or her their wages.

Give everyone who has a right upon you; your children, your wife and other than them; their rights.

The intent in being cautious regarding oppression of the people is because indeed Allāh has made sacred the blood, honour and wealth of the Muslims.

So, the Muslim takes himself to account and fears his Lord, so do not oppress anyone, not their honour or their wealth, regardless of whether they are close to you or not.


Paraphrased from Shaykh ‘Abdul Azīz ibn Bāz:

https://www.binbaz.org.sa/noor/8490

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The Sin of the Person Who Does Not Provide for Those Under His Care. Hadeeth: Explanation of Shaykh ‘Abdul Muhsin Al Abbad

Abū Dawūd reported the hadīth of Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr (Allāh be pleased with him). He said, “Allāh’s Messenger (sallallāhu alaihi wa salam) said”

“Sufficient sin for a man is that he neglects those he should provide for.”(1)

Shaykh ‘Abdul Muhsin (hafidahullāh):

“Meaning, a person sins due to the absence of spending and providing on the one spending upon is obligated.

Regardless of whether that was due to him not seeking sustenance for them (by working), or if he was wealthy but was stingy and tightfisted with them.

Or perhaps he spends and gives optional charity to those who aren’t close to him, neglecting those who it is obligatory for him to spend on, from those close to him, (wife, children etc), so by doing this he fulfils a recommended act but abandons an obligation.

Indeed he is sinful because he abandons that which Allāh (‘azza wa jal) obligated upon him, from spending upon those it is obligated to provide for.

This is similar to the previous hadīth(2), Spend it on yourself, then your child, then your wife, then your servant, then he (sallallāhu alaihi wa salam) said: You have better knowledge; meaning: after that, give charity to whomsoever you wish, or don’t, its entirely up to you.”


Slightly Paraphrased from Shaykh ‘Abdul Muhsin’s (hafidahullāh) explanation of this hadīth in his lessons on Sunan Abū Dawūd in the Prophets Masjid.

(1) Authenticated by Shaykh Al-Albāni Sahīh Sunan Abū Dawūd Hadīth Nos. 1692 Vol.1 Pg. 469
(2) Full wording of the Hadīth:

On the Authority of Abū Hurayrah, he said Allāh’s Messenger commanded with giving in charity. Then a man said, “Oh Allāh’s Messenger! I have a dīnār?”

So Allāh’s Messenger said “Spend it in on yourself”.

He (the man) said, “I have another?”

(Allāh’s Messenger) said “Spend it on your offspring.”

He (the man) said, “I have another?”

(Allāh’s Messenger) said “Spend it on your wife.”

He (the man) said, “I have another?”

(Allāh’s Messenger) said “Spend it on your servant.”

He (the man) said, “I have another?”

(Allāh’s Messenger) said “You have better knowledge.” (On how to spend it, or give in charity to.)

Authenticated by Shaykh Al-Albāni Sahīh Sunan Abū Dawūd Hadīth Nos. 1691 Vol.1 Pg. 469

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The Means to a Loving Relationship and Strong Bond Between Husband and Wife- By Shaikh Uthaymeen [rahimahullaah]

Shaikh Uthaymeen [rahimahullaah] said: If a person says: What will make a man love his wife and vice versa? We say: Allaah has clarified this in His statement:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

And live with them honourably. [Soorah An-Nisaa’ Aayah 19]

If every person lives with his wife honourably and vice versa, then love, a strong bond and a happy married life will be established.


[Fataawaa Noor Alad-Darb 6/29. Abridged]

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Bid'ah (Innovation) Marriage (Nikkah)

Reciting Faatiha during Marriage or Replacing Nikkah with it – Shaykh Al-Uthaymeen

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih Al-Uthaymeen (rahimahullah) was asked concerning the ruling of reciting Al-Faatihah during a marriage contract, it was also mentioned that it has transpired that some of the people have replaced the contract entirely, so they say “I have read Al-Fatihaah upon her” and intend by that that the marriage has taken place, he replied:

‎This is not legislated, rather it is an innovation. ‎Reciting Al-Faatihah or other than it from specific Suwar (Chapters of the Quran) are not to be recited except in places where they are legislated. If you recite it in other than its correct place -as an act of worship- then it is considered a bidah. And indeed we have seen many of the people reciting Al-Faatihah on every occasion, to the extent that we have heard those who say “Read Al-Faatihah on the deceased” and on this one and that one, and all of this is from the innovated and evil practices.

Therefore, Al-Faatihah and other than it from the Suwar are not read in any situation, or place or time except if that (reading in that situation, place or time) has been legislated based upon the Book of Allah or the Sunnah of His Messenger (sallallaahu alaihi wa Sallam) and if not, then it is an innovation and its perpetrator is reproached.

Shaykh Al-Uthaymeen’s Fataawa Noor alad Darb Vol.10 pg.95