Ill-Mannered Towards Family [i.e. Parents, Wives, Children and Other Relatives] But Good Mannered Towards People Who Are Not Related To Us- [A Brief Admonition By Imaam Ash-Shawkaani]
In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy
Imaam Ash-Shawkaani [rahimahullaah] said:
Indeed, [amongst] the people [i.e. believers]-those with the loftiest station in goodness and the worthiest of being described as such – are those people who give their families the best treatment, for indeed the family of a person are worthier of being approached with cheerfulness, good manners and kindness, bringing good to them and repelling harm from them. So, if a man is like this [to his family], he is from the best of the people [i.e. in this affair]; but if not, he is on the opposite side- evil [behaviour]. The people often fall into this [behaviour], so you see a man being the most ill-mannered, the most selfish and the least in bringing good when he meets his family; but when he meets others, he becomes good natured, good mannered, upright and brings a lot of good. Indeed, there is no doubt that the one who is like this is deprived and has deviated from the right path [i.e. in this affair]. And we ask Allaah for safety [from evil].
[Naylul Awtaar’ 8/121. Slightly paraphrased]