Men Going Their Own Way And Woman Haters! [This Is Nothing But Deviation From An Aspect of One’s Fitrah (Sound Natural Disposition)]

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allaah [The Most High] said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Soorah Ar-Rum: Ayah: 21]

Imaam as-Saa’di [rahimahullaah]: In most cases you will not find love in anyone similar to the love and mercy between a husband and wife. [Ref 1]

The Messenger [sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam] said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another”. [Ref 2]

Meaning: There is no bond like that bond between two people in marriage who love one another, for if they are married and love is present between them, it will increase in strength every day. [Ref 3]

Shaikh Uthaymeen [rahimahullaah] said: If a person says: What will make a man love his wife and vice versa? We say: Allaah has clarified this in His statement:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

And live with them honourably. [Soorah An-Nisaa’ Aayah 19]

If every person lives with his wife honourably and vice versa, then love, a strong bond and a happy married life will be established. [Ref 4]

Narrated Jabir [radiyallaahu-anhu] that Allaah’s Messenger [sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam] said: Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments [for creating dissension]; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well. A’mash said: He then embraces him. [Saheeh Muslim. Number:2813]

And because of the fact that this bond [between husband and wife] is from the most beloved affairs to Allaah and His Messenger, it is from the most hated affairs to the enemy of Allaah [i.e. shaytaan]. Therefore he hastens to split two people who love another for the sake of Allaah. [Ref 5]

Allaah [The Exalted] said:

فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرً۬ا ڪَثِيرً۬ا

’If you dislike them (i.e. your wives), it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.’’ [Surah An-Nisaa, Aayah: 19]

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [rahimahullaah] said: The person may dislike a woman due to a trait of hers, whilst there is a great deal of goodness in keeping her and he does not know it. He may love a woman due to a trait from her traits, whilst in keeping her there is much evil and he does not know it. The human being is as he has been described by his Creator; ”Verily, he (man) was unjust (to himself) and ignorant (of its results)’’ [Ahzaab: Ayah: 72].

Therefore, it is not befitting that he places his inclination, love, aversion and hatred as a measure for that which harms or benefits him, rather the measure is that which Allaah has selected for him of commandments and prohibitions. The most beneficial of affairs for him without exception is obedience to His Lord outwardly and inwardly [i.e. praiseworthy hidden deeds of the heart and apparent actions of the limbs], and the most harmful of affairs for him without exception is disobedience to his Lord outwardly and inwardly [i.e. evil hidden deeds of the heart and apparent actions of the limbs]. If he embarks upon sincere obedience and servitude to Him, then all that he comes across of that which he hates is better for him; and if he withdraws from obedience and servitude to Allaah [The Most High], then all that is in what he loves is bad for him. Therefore, whoever has a sound knowledge regarding his Lord and an understanding of His Names and Attributes, he knows with certainty that there are [affairs of advantage, great benefits, welfare etc] and useful (things) in those hated things that afflicts him and [in those] trials that befall him, which he cannot innumerate by way of his knowledge and contemplation; rather the [affairs of advantage, great benefits and welfare] for the slave are greater in that which he hates than in what he loves.  The universally beneficial things for the souls are found in what they hate, just as the universally harmful things for the souls and the causes for their destruction are in what they love. [Ref 6]

The Importance of Marriage

Narrated ‘Alqamah: “While I was with Abdullaah, Uthmaan met him at Mina and said, ‘O Abu Abdur-Rahmaan! I have something to say to you.’ So both of them went aside and Uthmaan said, ‘O Abu Abdur-Rahmaan! Shall we marry you to a virgin who will make you remember your past days? When Abdullaah felt that he was not in need of that, he beckoned me (to join him) saying, ‘O Alqamah’ Then I heard him saying (in reply to uthmaan), ‘As you have said that (I tell you that) the Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) once said to us, ‘O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe fast as fasting will diminish his sexual power’.

Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz (rahimahullaah) explains: “Therefore, getting married is the correct (thing to do) as an obligation upon the one who has shahwa (sexual desires) even if he is not in fear of falling to Zinaa, and this is with regards to the one whose situation allows him to get married. This (also shows) Uthman’s righteous moral conduct and that the elderly person can get married as long as he has the strength for sexual relations; and those mainly intended in this hadeeth are the young people, because in most cases they possess greater desires and are more in need of that (fulfilling their desires).” [Source: Al-Hulalul Ibreeziyyah Min At-Taleeqaat Al-baaziyyah Alaa Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree Volume 4; Hadith No:5065; Footnote Number 2]

The Importance of Marrying Someone Who Is Righteous

Narrated Abu Hurairah (radiyallaahu-anhu): The Prophet (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said:

‘A woman is married for four reasons; her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should take possession of the one with Religion, otherwise you will be a loser’ [Bukhaari Vol 7. No:5090]

Narrated Said Bin Jubair (radiyallaahu-anhu):

“Ibn Abbaas (radiyallaahu-anhumaa) asked me, ‘Are you married?’ I replied, ‘No’ He said, ‘Marry, for the best person of this Ummah (i.e. Muhammad) had the largest number of wives.’”

Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz (rahimahullaah) explains: If a person marries (several women) in order to protect himself from (Zina) and for an increase in numbers of children; then there is no problem in this; but not for playing about.  And Shaikhul Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah stated in Majmoo Al-Fataawaa: And if the need for divorce is not called for, then the proofs necessitates that it is forbidden as demonstrated by the narrations and the fundamental principles; but Allaah has permitted divorce out of mercy from Himself due to the slaves need of it at times; and He made it forbidden in (certain) instances.  [Al-Hulalul Ibreeziyyah Min At-Taleeqaat Al-baaziyyah Alaa Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree Volume 4; Hadith Number:5069. Footnote Number 3]

Sexual Relations

The Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said, “Having intercourse (with one’s wife) is a charity” [Ref 7]

In this there is: Perfect enjoyment; Kindness towards a beloved wife; seeking reward, gaining reward equivalent to giving Sadaqah, exhilaration of the soul, expelling bad thoughts, lighten the soul, expel her strain [and yours]; lighten her body and balancing her temperament [and yours]. If this happens in a good way, with gentleness and a lot of passion, complete desire and seeking reward, there will not be any enjoyment equal to it. [Ref 8]

A Reminder from a beloved wife to her beloved husband

Husband & Wife Thank One Another For Their Efforts!

Husband appreciates wife’s efforts and dedication to family

Why Was Shaikhul Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaah) Unmarried throughout His Life? Shaikh Saaleh Al-Fawzaan clarifies

[Ref 1: Tafseer As-Sadi]

[Ref 2: Reported by Imaam Ibn Maajah 2/153. Hadeeth Number: 1847. Declared Authentic by Imaam Albaanee in As-Saheehah 2/196];

[Ref 3: Sharh Sunan Ibn Maajah by As-Sindee (rahimahullaah)… Hadeeth Number 1847’ Book of Marriage- Chapter: The Excellence of Marriage]

[Ref 4: Fataawaa Noor Alad-Darb 6/29]

[Ref 5: Rawdatul Muhibbeen. page:188]

Ref 6: Al-Fawaa’id: page: 145-148. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 7: Reported by Muslim. Number 1674]

[Ref 8: An Excerpt from Rawdatul Muhibbeen By Imaam Ibnul Qayyim. Page 187. Slightly paraphrased]

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