Nurture Children Upon Bravery – [Rebuke Against Those Who Follow Forbidden Means From Customs And Thus Lead Children to Transgression and Violence In The Name of Bravery]


In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

The reason behind this article: A brother sent us a video clip in which either the parents or guardians filmed two toddlers – biting, pinching cheeks and hitting on the head. This despicable act carried on for 33 seconds. Indeed, this parent or guadian definately deserves to be called a child abuser – unfit to be looking after children and a wicked example for others!

Allaah [Glorified and Exalted be He] said:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. [Soorah Tahreem: Ayah: 6]

Al-Allaamah Abdullaah Bin Muhammad Bin Humaid [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said:

Some of the pious predecessors said that if you hear the statement of Allaah ‘’O you who believe’‘, then listen attentively because it is either something good you are being commanded or something forbidden you are being prohibited from. And regarding the statement “Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell)”, this cannot be achieved except by fulfilling the commandments of Allaah and keeping away from what He has forbidden.

It is well known that children are the most important part of the family, therefore you must take up a shield of protection against the fire to protect your children and those under your care. And what is this protection? It is the advice and guidance you give them about that which will benefit them- teaching them what is beneficial and correct by way of which Eemaan is nurtured in the hearts and by way of which they will come to know the rights of their Creator and the rights of their parents. [Ref 1]

Nurture Children Upon Praiseworthy Customs

Ut-bah Bin Abee Sufyaan [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said to his children’s teacher, “Indeed, I have come to you to teach my children; first, rectify yourself and adhere to your religion because their eyes are fixed on you. They will not see you beautifying or doing something, except that they will blindly follow you. Teach them the Hadeeth and the Qur’aan, the poetry and etiquettes of the Arabs that develops bravery in the souls, heroism, nobility and adherence to good customs”. [Ref 2]

Indeed, there is not a society, nation, tribe or clan except that they have a path – through customs – by way of which they seek to nurture children upon bravery, whether that path is sound or corrupt. Nurturing children upon bravery cannot involve Haraam – biting, hitting or punching in the face; rather this is the path of the oppressors and wicked ones. Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “It is obligated on every Muslim that he does not depend on custom; rather he presents it to the pure Islamic legislation (to be judged), so whatever the Islamic legislation affirms is permissible and whatever it does not affirm is impermissible. The customs of the people are not proof to determine the lawfulness of anything. All the customs of the people in their countries or tribes must be presented to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] for judgement, so whatever Allaah and His Messenger made permissible is permissible, and whatever they forbid, then it is obligatory to abandon it even if it is the custom of the people”. [Ref 3]

Imaam Muhammad Bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “The customs cannot make something that is not legislated (in the divine revelation) as something legislated, because of Allaah’s statement: [وَلَيۡسَ ٱلۡبِرُّ بِأَن تَأۡتُواْ ٱلۡبُيُوتَ مِن ظُهُورِهَا – It is not Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, etc.) that you enter the houses from the back] [Surah Al-Baqarah. Aayah 189], despite the fact that it was something they took as their custom and considered it to be an act of righteousness. Whoever takes something as a custom and believes that it is an act of righteousness, then it should be presented to Allaah’s divine legislation [i.e. to be judged]”. [Ref 4]

Imaam Muhammad Bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] also said, “Extremism in related to customs is stringent adherence to old customs and not diverting to what is better than them. As for if the customs are equal in benefit [i.e. the ones judged to be permissible by the divine legislation], then a person remaining upon what he is upon would be better than going along with the new (or emerging) customs”. [Ref 5]

Eemaan and Physical Strength:

Allaah [The Exalted] said:

وَقَالَ لَهُمۡ نَبِيُّهُمۡ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ قَدۡ بَعَثَ لَڪُمۡ طَالُوتَ مَلِكً۬ا‌ۚ قَالُوٓاْ أَنَّىٰ يَكُونُ لَهُ ٱلۡمُلۡكُ عَلَيۡنَا وَنَحۡنُ أَحَقُّ بِٱلۡمُلۡكِ مِنۡهُ وَلَمۡ يُؤۡتَ سَعَةً۬ مِّنَ ٱلۡمَالِ‌ۚ قَالَ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ ٱصۡطَفَٮٰهُ عَلَيۡڪُمۡ وَزَادَهُ ۥ بَسۡطَةً۬ فِى ٱلۡعِلۡمِ وَٱلۡجِسۡمِ‌ۖ وَٱللَّهُ يُؤۡتِى مُلۡڪَهُ ۥ مَن يَشَآءُ‌ۚ وَٱللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ۬

And their prophet said to them, ‘Indeed, Allah has sent to you Saul as a king.’ They said, ‘How can he have kingship over us while we are more worthy of kingship than him and he has not been given any measure of wealth?’ He said, ‘Indeed, Allah has chosen him over you and has increased him abundantly in knowledge and stature. And Allah gives His sovereignty to whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing [in favor] and Knowing’”. [Surah Al-Baqarah 247]

So, Allaah chose Saul [peace be upon him] over them due to the strength in knowledge and his physical strength- both of which are a means to bravery, an assistance to fulfil tasks and look after affairs properly. [Ref 6]

This is what good parents and guardians would wish to nurture children upon, knowledge first and foremost and physical strength to carry out tasks, instead of violent behavior- biting and hitting people. There are narrations in the authentic Sunnah that teaches Muslims to be active and strong. The Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Everything in which there is no remembrance of Allah is idle play, except four things: a man playing with his wife; a man training his horse; a man running between two lines (as in a race); and a man learning how to swim”. [Ref 7]

Salamah Ibn Al-Akwa [may Allah be pleased with him] said, “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] passed by a group of Aslam who were competing in shooting arrows. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, ‘Shoot, O sons of Ismaa‘eel, because your father was an archer. Shoot, and I am with the tribe of So-and-so’. One of the two groups stopped shooting, so the Messenger of Allah [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] said, ‘What is the matter with you, why are you not shooting?’ They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! How could we shoot when you are with them?’ He said, ‘Shoot, because I am with all of you'”. [Ref 8]

Rukaanah [who was a very strong and undefeated wrestler] wrestled with Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] and the Prophet threw him to the ground. [Ref 9] However, despite the strength of the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him], he also said, “The strong are not the best wrestlers. Verily, the strong are only those who control themselves when they are angry”. [Ref 10]

Corrupt Deeds of Adults Who Corrupt Their Offspring

Demonstrations: Nowadays one sometimes sees some parents – in videos – accompanied by their teenage children during demonstrations and protests. They witness confrontation between police and demonstrators, as well as when some demonstrators are arrested. Indeed, demonstrations are evil enough, then what about exposing young men and women to this evil?! Al-Allaamah Zayd Bin Haadi Al-Madkhali [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “Protests [or demonstrations] are newly invented matters in the religion. Every newly invented matter in the religion is a bidah; every bidah is misguidance and every misguidance is in the hell fire [i.e. is a path leading to the hell fire]. Allaah’s legislation is perfect and complete-based on The Book and The Sunnah-and we do not know of anything by way of the evidences in the Book and the Sunnah that makes it permissible for a handful of people to gather for demonstrations, which causes disturbance for the people and time wasting. And greater than this [disturbance and time wasting] is abandonment of the prayers [during protests] and the loss of life [i.e. murder]. If one was to kill a Muslim in a single protest, the one [or those] who called to such protests will carry his sins-be it an individual, a group or those who participate. It has been reported in an authentic hadeeth: The termination of the world means less to Allah than the killing of a Muslim [i.e. without right].[Saheeh Al-Jaami 9208]

These protests are nothing but bidah and acts of misguidance advocated by shaytaan; [enticed] by the urge of the evil soul and desires. And these enemies [i.e. shaytaan, the urge of the evil soul and desires] do not come together in any affair except that the religion and worldly affairs are destroyed, just as it is the case in these demonstrations [or protests]. The end results of protests [or demonstrations]: Carnage, destruction, wastage of wealth and time and terrorizing those living in peace. And how many disadvantages are there in [that]! It is enough to be considered something sinister due to the fact that the Noble Messengers and the Great Prophets who were put to trial and harmed by their people did not hold protests [or demonstrations]. Neither did they engage in plotting to cause explosions nor committing suicide; rather Islaam has forbidden all of that.

Those who call to protests [or demonstrations] and hold that there is success in it, they are mistaken and they have missed the correct path. Rectification of the affairs can only be by way of the Book and The Sunnah in accordance with the understanding of those scholars who are firmly grounded in knowledge. So whoever calls the people to this chaos, then indeed he has brought about a means to corrupting the land and the slaves, and what has occurred – in the past and at present- is a witness to that. Therefore, we warn the students of knowledge that they are not persuaded by the speech of those who allow protests [or demonstrations]. They say that peaceful demonstrations are permissible-as they categorize it into this categorization- without proofs and concrete evidence from the Book and the Sunnah- neither from the actions of the Messenger and the Noble Companions nor from the Notable Imaams; rather the verdict on protests [or demonstrations] is only what has been stated earlier and as well as what has been written by other than myself [i.e. protests (or demonstrations) are not permissible]. [Ref 11]

Question to Shaikh Rabee Bin Haadi [may Allaah preserve him]: Going out to demonstrations, [initiating] revolutions and nurturing the youth upon it; is this from the methodology of Ahlus Sunnah Wal Jamaa’ah or not, whether [carried] out within or outside the Muslim countries? Answer: This is the methodology of Marx (i.e. Carl Marx), Lenin (i.e. Vladimir Lenin) and those similar to them. It is not from the Islamic methodology. Revolutions, bloodshed, trials and troubles are Marx’s and Lenin’s school of thought. [Ref 12]

If this is the corruption teenagers are exposed to during demonstrations, then what about the corruption child soldiers are exposed to in Africa, Yemen and elsewhere?! May Allaah protect all children from this evil Aameen.

Exposing kids to Games That Corrupt Manners of Children

The Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Any man whom Allaah has given authority to look after the affairs of a people and he dies whilst not looking after them [in the manner obligated by Allaah and His Messenger], he will not smell the scent of paradise”. [Ref 13]
Regarding the statement of the Messenger [peace and blessings o

f Allaah be upon him], “Any man whom Allaah has given authority to look after the affairs of a people”, Imaam Muhammad bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “This does not (only) mean the Muslim ruler, his assistant or a minister, or the elders of a people; rather it applies even to a man in his house. If he dies and did not look after his family [in the manner obligated by Allaah and His Messenger], then indeed Allaah will prevent him from smelling the scent of paradise. And those who give their families games [or means of amusement] that corrupt manners and destroy (sound) Islamic belief, then there is no doubt that they have not looked after their families [i.e. in the manner obligated by Allaah and His Messenger in this affair]. And if they die whilst being upon this state, it is feared that Allaah will prevent them from smelling the scent of paradise. We ask Allaah for well-being and safety”. [Ref 14]

Regarding the statement of the Messenger, “He will not smell the scent of paradise”, Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “The sinners [i.e. those who die whilst committing sins lesser than shirk] are under the will of Allaah- if Allaah wishes, He will either punish them or forgive them straight away, or He enters them into hell for some time and paradise thereafter, just as Allaah said: [إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يَغۡفِرُ أَن يُشۡرَكَ بِهِۦ وَيَغۡفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٲلِكَ لِمَن يَشَآءُ‌-Verily, Allah forgives not that partners should be set up with him in worship, but He forgives except that (anything else) to whom He pleases. [Surah An-Nisaa’ Aayah 48][Ref 15]

Finally: The Middle Path Regarding Moral Character –

By Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him]

Akhlaaq [i.e. moral character] have limits. Transgression occurs when one goes beyond its limits and deficiency and humiliation occurs when one falls short.

The limits of Anger are: Praiseworthy bravery and having a dislike for despicable and deficient [behaviour etc.]. This is its perfection; but when one goes beyond its limits, the person transgresses and oppresses; and if his anger is deficient, he’ll behave in a cowardly manner and will not detest despicable [behaviour etc.].

The limits of Eagerness are: To obtain what suffices one’s [needs] in the worldly affairs and employ the [means] to reach them. Humiliation and a waste of [valuable time or opportunity] occurs when a person lacks eagerness; but when he goes beyond its limits, it leads to vehement greed and unpraiseworthy desire.

The limits of Envy are: [Praiseworthy] competition in seeking after perfection and not wanting the other competitor to excel you; [but] if a person goes beyond its limits, it leads to jealous animosity and oppression by way of which a person wishes that the one he envies is deprived of blessings and is eager to harm him. And if a person lacks [what is required of it], it leads to disesteem and a weakness in one’s ambition. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “There should be no envy except in two (people): a person whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a person whom Allah has given wisdom [i.e. religious knowledge] and he judges by way of it and teaches it to the others”. This type of envy [necessitates praiseworthy] competition between one another and the Haasid [i.e. the one who is envious of his or her competitor] seeks -by way of it- to be similar to the one he envies, whilst not [harbouring that] despised envy which [necessitates that he] wishes that the blessings bestowed upon the envied one should cease to exist.

The limits of Desires are: [Desires are a means] of relaxation for the heart and intellect after exerting oneself in acts of obedience and seeking to accomplish virtuous deeds. However, when a person goes beyond its limits, it leads to a strong and barely uncontrollable emotion and lewdness, and thus the person descends to the level of animals. However, when a person is lacking in desire and does not [utilized it as a means] of seeking after perfection and virtue, it leads to weakness, impotence and humiliation.

The limits of Relaxation are: It gives renewed strength to the self and strengthens one’s mental ability, in order to facilitate [him with the ability] to carry out acts of obedience and accomplish virtuous deeds, and so that one is not weakened by toil and tiredness. However, when a person goes beyond its limits, it leads to un-enthusiasm, laziness, waste [of time and opportunity] and many beneficial affairs of a person are missed due to that. And when a person lacks sufficient relaxation, it harms his strength and may even become enfeebled [by way of it].

The limits of Generosity are between two extremes; when one goes beyond its limits, it leads to extravagance and squander. And when a person is lacking in generosity, it leads to miserliness and tight-fistedness.

The limits of Bravery: When a person goes beyond its limits, it leads to recklessness; and when a person lacks bravery, it leads to cowardice and weakness. Its limit is to take action during occasions in which such action is required and to refrain when not required.

The limits of Jealousy: When one goes beyond its limits, it leads to false accusation and [unjustified] evil suspicion against one who is free from blame. And when one lacks jealousy, it leads to heedlessness and a lack of giving importance to one’s honour.

The limits of Humility: When one goes beyond its limits, it leads to indignity and humiliation. And when one lacks humility, it leads to pride and boasting.

Honour has limits. When a person goes beyond its limits, it leads to pride. And when a person lacks honour, it leads to humiliation and indignity.

What gives an upright balance to all these affairs? Justice provides a precise and upright balance for [all the above-mentioned qualities] and this necessitates that a person adheres to the balanced path ordained by the Islamic legislation-the path that is free from exaggeration and negligence. All beneficial affairs of the worldly life and the afterlife are based on this; rather physical well-being cannot be achieved except by way of it, because when some of the elements of the human body are distanced from its appropriate balance -either due to exceeding its limits or falls short – it loses its well-being and strength in accordance with the degree of [this imbalance]. Likewise, when those natural acts, such as sleep, staying up late at night, eating, drinking, sexual intercourse, movement, recreation, seclusion, keeping company with the people and other than that are performed with moderation – neither being excessive nor lacking in what is required – it is regarded to be [upright, appropriate, balanced]; but when a person deviates to one of the two extremes, it is regarded to be a deficiency and will have deficient end results.

And one of the most noble and beneficial sciences is the knowledge regarding the hudood [the appropriate limits], especially the divine limits-the commands and prohibitions [ordained by Allaah (The Most High) and His Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him]. The most knowledgeable people are those who have the most knowledge regarding those divine limits, hence they neither include- within those limits- that which is not from them nor remove that which is included in them. Allaah [The Most High] said:

[ٱلۡأَعۡرَابُ أَشَدُّ ڪُفۡرً۬ا وَنِفَاقً۬ا وَأَجۡدَرُ أَلَّا يَعۡلَمُواْ حُدُودَ مَآ أَنزَلَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ رَسُولِهِ – The bedouins are the worst in disbelief and hypocrisy, and more likely to be in ignorance of the limits (Allah’s Commandments and His Legal Laws, etc.) which Allah has revealed to His Messenger]. [Soorah At-Tawbah’ Aayah 97]

Therefore, the most just, balanced and upright people are those who stay within the limits of moral character,  actions and the deeds legislated in the Islamic legislation- in knowledge and practice. [Ref 16]


[Refs 1 and 2: Al-Fataawaa Wad-Duroos Fil Masjid Al-Haraam. pages 938-944]

[Ref 3: Majmoo Al-Fataawaa 6/510]

[Ref: 4: Tafseer Surah Al-Baqarah 2/299]

[Ref 5: Majmoo Al-Fataawaa 7/7]

[Ref 6: Tafseer Sadi. 109. Daar Ibn Jawzi 1431]

[Ref 7: As-Saheehah 315]

[Ref 8: Al-Bukhaari 3373]

[Ref 9: Al-Irwaa wal-Ghaleel 5/329]

[Ref 10: Bukhari 5763 and Muslim 2609]

[Ref 11: : الأفنان وتوحيد ابن خزيمة وحديث عن المظاهرات4-4-1432هـ.]

[Ref 12: An excerpt from كشف الستار Page: 18]

[Ref 13: Saheeh Al-Bukhaari’ Number 7150]

[Ref 14: At-taleeq Alas Siyaasatish Shar’iyyah. page 35]

[Ref 15: https://www.binbaz.org.sa/noor/2527 ]

[Ref 16: An Excerpt from ‘Al-Fawaa’id page 207- 209]

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