In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
Imaam As-Sadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said:
What Allaah and His Messenger have legislated for people of rights that are a means of righteousness, goodness, benevolence, justice, equity, and abandonment of injustice: this includes the rights that have been obligated and legislated (when dealing with) parents, children, relatives, neighbours, friends and workers, and the rights which both husband and wife owe each other. (see appendix a)
All of them are rights, necessities and affairs that lead to perfection, and are approved by sound innate natural disposition and intellects. By way of them, sound association is perfected, welfare and beneficial things are exchanged between people based on the circumstances and status of the one who is owed the right. The more you think about them, you will see the good in them and the means of stopping evil. You will find general and specific benefits, harmony and perfect companionship that would be a testimony for you that this Sharee’ah guarantees happiness in this life and the next. (see appendix b)
You will see that these rights are suitable in every era, place and situation, and within the customs of the people (see appendix c)- a benefit for all aspects of human welfare, a means of achieving perfect mutual cooperation in religious and worldly affairs, an initiator of good thoughts, removing hatred and resentment. These affairs are known by way of thorough examination and close observation of its sources in the divine text. (1)
Appendix a: Visit links below
The Good Treatment of the Mother and Father in Light of the Quran and Sunnah:
Twelve Steps In Cultivating Our Children and Establishing a Pious Home
Twelve Steps In Cultivating Our Children and Establishing a Pious Home
Companions: Only True Friends and Righteous Companions Will Benefit You: https://abukhadeejah.com/only-true-friends-and-righteous-companions-will-benefit-you/
The Right of the Employer and Worker:
The Rights of the Husband & Wife – Busting the Gender Reassignment Myth: https://www.salafisounds.com/the-rights-of-the-husband-wife-busting-the-gender-reassignment-myth-khutbah-by-abu-khadeejah/
Appendix b: Relationships In Society:
Imaam Shanqeetee [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said:
Ponder upon what the great leader [Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] has been commanded and how he should deal with his society. Allaah [The Most High] said:
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ
And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah’s) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs.” [Soorah Aal Imraan: Ayah: 159]
Ponder upon what a person has been commanded and how he should deal with his leader. Allaah [The Most High] said: [يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَأَطِيعُوا الرَّسُولَ وَأُولِي الْأَمْرِ مِنكُمْ – O you who believe! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger (Muhammad), and those of you (Muslims) who are in authority. [Soorah An-Nisaa. Verse 59] (3)
Ponder upon what a person has been commanded to do [in order to safeguard close members] of his society, such as his children and wife. Allaah [The Most High] said:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَائِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا يَعْصُونَ اللَّهَ مَا أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ
O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded. [Soorah Tahreem. Verse 6]
Ponder upon how (the Qur’aan) has informed the person about cautiousness and resoluteness when dealing his (close) social group in particular- that if he comes across that which is not befitting [from them], he is commanded to pardon and forgive. Firstly, the Qur’aan commands him to be cautious and resolute, and secondly, it commands him to pardon and forgive. Allaah [The Most High] said:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ ۚ وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children there are enemies for you (i.e. may stop you from the obedience of Allah), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.[Soorah At-Taghaabun. Verse 14]
Ponder upon how individuals in society have been commanded to deal with one another in general. Allaah (The Most High) said:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
Verily, Allah enjoins Al-Adl (i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone – Islamic Monotheism) and Al-Ihsan [i.e. to be patient in performing your duties to Allah, totally for Allah’s sake and in accordance with the Sunnah (legal ways) of the Prophet in a perfect manner], and giving (help) to kith and kin (i.e. all that Allah has ordered you to give them e.g., wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind of help, etc.): and forbids Al-Fahsha’ (i.e. all evil deeds, e.g. illegal sexual acts, disobedience of parents, polytheism, to tell lies, to give false witness, to kill a life without right, etc.), and Al-Munkar (i.e. all that is prohibited by Islamic law: polytheism of every kind, disbelief and every kind of evil deeds, etc.), and Al-Baghy (i.e. all kinds of oppression), He admonishes you, that you may take heed. [Soorah An-Nahl: Ayah: 90]
And Allaah [The Most High] said:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another.”[Soorah Al-Hujuraat. Verse 12]
And He [The Most High] said:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاءٌ مِّن نِّسَاءٍ عَسَىٰ أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ ۖ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ ۖ بِئْسَ الِاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ ۚ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ
O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithful believer) as: “O sinner”, or “O wicked”, etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zalimun (wrong-doers, etc.). [Soorah Al-Hujuraat. Verse 11]
And He [The Most High] said:
وَتَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْبِرِّ وَالتَّقْوَىٰ ۖ وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ
Help you one another in Al-Birr and At-Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. [Soorah Al-Maa-idah. Verse 2]
And Allaah [The Most High] said: [إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ – The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion)]. [Soorah Al-Hujuraat. Verse 10]
And Allaah [The Most High] said: [وَأَمْرُهُمْ شُورَىٰ بَيْنَهُمْ – And who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation]. [Soorah Ash-Shooraa. Verse 38]
And when it is the case that the individuals of a society are not safe –regardless who they may be-from the hostility and enmity of others in their Jinn or human society, and it is the case that every individual is in need of a remedy for this problem whose trial affects everyone- therefore Allaah [The Most High] clearly prescribed its remedy in three places in His Book. The remedy for human hostility [Ref 2] is that [a person] should turn away from the hostile one and responds to him [or her] with what is better. Allaah [The Most High] said in Soorah Al-Araaf Verse 199: [خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ – Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don’t punish them].
Allaah [The Most High] said Soorah Al-Muminoon Verse 96: [ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ السَّيِّئَةَ ۚ نَحْنُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا يَصِفُونَ – Repel evil with that which is better. We are Best-Acquainted with the things they utter].
Allaah [The Most High] made it more evident that this divine remedy cuts off this satanic ailment and He also made more (evident) that this divine (remedy) is not bestowed upon every person, except upon a person who has been granted in abundance and a great portion [of the happiness in the Hereafter]. Allaah [The Most High] said:
ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend. But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character). [Surah Fussilat. Verses 34-35]
And there is no remedy against a devil amongst the Jinn except through seeking refuge with Allaah. Allaah [The Most High] said: [وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ – And if an evil whisper comes to you from Shaitan (Satan) then seek refuge with Allah. Verily, He is All-Hearer, All-Knower].
Allaah [The Most High] said Soorah Al-Muminoon Verses 97-98:
وَقُل رَّبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ
وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَن يَحْضُرُونِ
And say: “My Lord! I seek refuge with You from the whisperings (suggestions) of the Shayatin (devils). “And I seek refuge with You, My Lord! lest they may attend (or come near) me.”
Allaah [The Most High] said: [وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ – And if an evil whisper from Shaitan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad) (from doing good, etc.), then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower]. [Surah Fussilat Verse 36] [Source: An Excerpt From ‘Al-Islaamu Deenun Kaamilun’. pages 10-12]
How to Enjoin Good And Forbid Evil In Society
Question to Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him]: Is enjoining good and forbidding evil by the hand obligated on all Muslims, or is it just for those in authority and their deputies?
Answer: Stopping what is wrong is obligated on all Muslims based on their ability, because the Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Whoever sees an evil deed, then let him stop it with their hand [i.e. by taking action based on what the law of a land allows him]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [i.e. by speaking against it based on what the law of a land allows him]; and if he cannot, then with their heart [i.e. by hating in his heart and keeps away from the evil], and that is the weakest of Iman (faith)”. [Reported by Muslim]
However, stopping evil with one’s hand must be based on ability and should not result in greater corruption or evil. A man has the right to rectify matters with his hand (by taking action) in his home in relation to his children, wife, and servants (i.e. baaed on what the law allows). A manager has the authority to make changes with the hand within the organization they are responsible for, in accordance with the instructions that were given to them [i.e. based on the law of the land], but people should not stop anything with their hand which they are not authorized to stop. If they stop that which they have no authority to stop, this will result in more evil and great corruption between them and the people, and between the people and the state. In this case, they should stop evil with their tongue [i.e. by speaking against it in manner allowed by the law]. They may say, “O such and such! Fear Allah! This is not permissible. This is prohibited. This is obligated on you” and clarify the affair with a legislated Islamic proof. This is what can be done with the tongue. As for stopping (evil) with the hand, this should be carried out where one has authority, such as in one’s home – amongst those under one’s responsibility [i.e. within the law], or those authorized by the ruler, such as those given permission and authority to enjoin good. They stop evil in accordance with the authority they have been given – in the way prescribed by the Shari’ah [i.e. based on Islamic law in a Muslim country], without exceeding their jurisdiction. The same applies to the governor of a city to stop evil with his hand in accordance with the instructions he has (been given). [An Excerpt from ‘Fataawa Ibn Baaz 8/208]
Living With Non-Muslims In The West: With Fine Conduct: https://abukhadeejah.com/living-with-non-muslims-in-the-west-with-fine-conduct/
Appendix c: Customs
Ibn Abbaas [may Allaah be pleased with him and his father] said that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “The most hated people to Allaah are three: a person who deviates from right conduct [i.e. an evil doer] in the Haram [sanctuaries of Makkah and Medeenah]; a person who seeks that the traditions of the pre-lslamic Period of Ignorance should remain in Islam and a person who seeks to shed somebody’s blood without any right”.
Al-Allaamah Zaid Bin Haadee Al-Mad’khalee [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “These three deeds are from the major sins. The first major sin is Al-Ilhaad Fil Haram [i.e. deviating from right conduct in the sanctuaries of Makkah and Madeenah]. Ilhaad means to deviate from the truth [and enter into] falsehood, and supporting falsehood in order to obliterate the truth. Allaah [The Mighty and Majestic] censured the Mulhideen Fil Haram [i.e. those who deviate from right conduction in the sanctuaries of Makkah and Madeenah], saying:
[وَمَن يُرِدۡ فِيهِ بِإِلۡحَادِۭ بِظُلۡمٍ۬ نُّذِقۡهُ مِنۡ عَذَابٍ أَلِيمٍ۬ – And whoever intends evil actions therein or to do wrong (i.e. practise polytheism and leave Islamic Monotheism), We shall make him taste a painful torment]. [Surah Al-Hajj. Aayah 25]
Allaah promised them [a severe punishment] due to the mere fact they intend evil actions therein [i.e. in the sanctuaries of Makkah and Madeenah], then how about perpetrating such deed! Indeed that would be a more severe sin, a more frightening state and a more severe punishment. This is a proof regarding the virtue of the sanctuaries of the Haram- that it is a sacred land chosen by Allaah and He made it a place where virtuous acts of worship are performed, [such as] the Hajj which is one of the pillars of Islaam. Allaah gave this place virtues that cannot be enumerated, such as the increased reward attached to good deeds [performed in Makkah and Madeenah] and gave this land virtue over all other lands of the earth.
The second major sin is committed by the person who wants that the pre-Islamic traditions should remain in Islaam, as if he gives precedence to the pre-Islamic traditions – the evil customs that were followed during that period and the misguided deeds- over the Islamic practices, Eemaan, Ihsaan, their virtue and virtue of the Sunnah. He is guilty of committing a major sin, and this includes giving precedence to Bidah over [the authentic] Sunnah that guides to the straight path.
The third major sin is to seek to shed somebody’s blood without any right – meaning: seeking to shed the blood of a Muslim without right and doing so based on oppression and animosity. Shedding the blood of a Muslim is a great crime, just as the Prophet said, “The extinction of the whole world is less significant to Allaah than killing a Muslim [i.e. unlawfully]”. And he [sallal laahu alayhi wasallam] stated regarding the rights of the Ka’bah, “How great you are and how great is your sanctity! But the sanctity of a believer is greater than yours in the sight of Allaah”.
It is not permissible to transgress against the Muslims and the believers – males and females- in the sanctuaries of [Makkah and Madeenah] or in other places due to the great sin and punishment which results from that. [At-taleeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahaadeeth as-Saheehah. Vol 1. Pages 429-430]
Imaam Ash-Shaatibee [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated in Al-Muwaafaqaat that customs are many different types- some are good and others are corrupt. The good customs are those that neither oppose the Sharee’ah texts nor lead to losing an affair deem to be beneficial by the Sharee’ah, nor lead to an affair which the Sharee’ah deems to be corrupt. As for the corrupt customs, they are those that oppose the evidences in the Sharee’ah or some of the principles of the Sharee’ah, such as some of the customary dealings in usury and those deeds deemed to be evil by the Sharee’ah which the people engage in during occasions of happiness (or rejoicing etc). [Al-Muwaafaqaat 2/283]
Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: Hardship is only encountered by the one who abandons the Ma’loofaat and Awaa’id [i.e. those habitual things, deeds, practices, customs etc] for other than the sake of Allaah. As for the one who abandons them truthfully and sincerely from the bottom of his heart- for the sake of Allaah alone- then indeed he does not encounter any difficulty due to abandoning them except in the beginning, in order that he is tested as to whether he is truthful or untruthful in abandoning them? If he exercises a little bit of patience, its [i.e. that abandonment] will alternate into pleasure. Ibn Seereen said that he heard Shurayh swearing by Allaah that “A servant does not abandon anything for the sake of Allaah and finds a loss in that.” And their statement [i.e. the people of knowledge] that ‘whoever abandons something for the Sake of Allaah, Allaah will replace it with what is better.” This is true. This compensation is of different types and the best of that which a person is compensated with is: the desire and yearning to get close to Allaah, seeking after Allaah’s pleasure, love of Allaah, and the heart granted-by way of it- tranquility, strength, enthusiasm, happiness and being pleased with its Lord [The Most High]. [Al-Fawaa’id page 166]
Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: It is obligated on every Muslim that he does not depend on custom; rather he presents it to the pure Islamic legislation [to be judged], so whatever the Islamic legislation affirms is permissible and whatever it does not affirm is impermissible. The customs of the people are not proof to determine the lawfulness of anything. All the customs of the people in their countries or tribes must be presented to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] for judgement, so whatever Allaah and His Messenger made permissible is permissible, and whatever they forbid, then it is obligatory to abandon it even if it is the custom of the people. [Majmoo Al-Fataawas 6/510]
Imaam Muhammad Bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: The customs cannot make something that is not legislated (in the divine revelation) as something legislated, because of Allaah’s statement: [وَلَيۡسَ ٱلۡبِرُّ بِأَن تَأۡتُواْ ٱلۡبُيُوتَ مِن ظُهُورِهَا – It is not Al-Birr (piety, righteousness, etc.) that you enter the houses from the back] [Surah Al-Baqarah. Aayah 189], despite the fact that it was something they took as their custom and considered it to be an act of righteousness. Whoever takes something as a custom and believes that it is an act of righteousness, then it should be presented to Allaah’s divine legislation. [Tafseer Surah Al-Baqarah 2/299]
Imaam Muhammad Bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] also said: Extremism in related to customs is stringent adherence to old customs and not diverting to what is better than them. As for if the customs are equal in benefit [i.e. the ones judged to be permissible by the divine legislation], then a person remaining upon what he is upon would be better than going along with the new (or emerging) customs. [Majmoo Al-Fataawaa 7/7]
[Ref 1: Ad-Durra Al-Mukhtasar Fee Mahaasin Deen Al-Islaamiy. pages 26-27]