In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
Abdullah Bin Mas’ood [may Allaah be pleased with him] said that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Be shy of Allaah (in a manner) shyness should be”, so they (i.e. the Sahaabah) said, “We do feel of Allaah, and all praise and thanks be to Allaah”. The prophet said, “It is not like that; rather the one who is truly shy of Allaah, let him safeguard his head and what it carries; safeguards the stomach and what it carries; remembers death and affliction. And he who wants the Aakhirah should do away with the adornments of this life, then indeed he is truly shy of Allaah [The Mighty and Majestic]”.
Al-Mubaarakfooree [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated regarding the statement of the Messenger [sallal-laahu-alayhi- wasallam], “Be shy of Allaah [in a manner] shyness should be [established]”– meaning: “A firm, abiding and truthful shyness”. And regarding the statement of the Sahaabah, “We do feel shy of Allaah”, Al-Mubaarakfooree said, “They said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah! We do feel shy of Allaah and all praise and thanks be to Allaah’ but they did not say, ‘We are truly shy of Allaah’ due to their acknowledgement of the fact that they are unable to do so. And regarding their statement, ‘And all praise and thanks be to Allaah’ – meaning, all praise and thanks be to Allaah for granting us Tawfeeq [i.e. for guiding and enabling us to perform righteous deeds]. And regarding the statement of the Messenger [sallal laahu alayhi wasallam], “It is not like that”, Al-Mubaarakfooree said, “Meaning, true shyness is not what you think, rather it is to safeguard all the limbs against what is not pleasing to Allaah”.
And regarding the statement of the Messenger, “Rather the one who is truly shy of Allaah, let him safeguard his head and what it carries; safeguards the stomach and what it carries; remembers death and affliction. And he who wants the Aakhirah should do away with the adornments of this life, then indeed he is truly shy of Allaah [The Mighty and Majestic]”. Al-Mubaarakfooree said, “Safeguard the head by refraining from utilising it in disobedience to Allaah – that you do not make Sujood to other than Allaah; refrain from Riyaa whilst praying; do not lower your head for other than the sake of Allaah, nor raise it out of pride. And with regards to what the head carries, such as the tongue, the eyes and the ears, do not utilise them for Haraam. Safeguard the stomach by refraining from eating Haraam as well as safeguarding what is connected to it – such as the private parts, the legs, the two hands and the heart- (from Haraam)”.
“Remembers death and affliction”– Meaning, remember death and your abode in the grave. “And he who wants the Aakhirah should do away with the adornments of this life”– Meaning, because the two cannot be combined in a perfect manner, even those who are strong [in Eemaan] cannot do so [i.e. perfect desire for the afterlife has to be combined with abandoning those enjoyable things of the worldly life which one can do without]. So, whoever does this [i.e. the things mentioned this hadeeth], then indeed he is truly shy of Allaah. [Tuhfatul Ahwadhiy. 7/131. Slightly paraphrased]
Al-Allaamah Saaleh Al-Fawzaan [may Allaah preserve him] stated: Dhulm [injustice or oppression] is three types according to the people of knowledge (i.e. the scholars):
Firstly: The greatest of them is Shirk and why is Shirk referred as Dzulm [injustice]? That is because the basis of injustice is to place something in other than its rightful place. And the meaning of shirk is to direct acts of worship to other than its rightful place and this is the greatest injustice – because when they (i.e. the people of shirk) directed acts of worship to other than its rightful place and to those who are not deserving of it, they equated the created (beings) to the Creator and a weak one (i.e. a created being) to Al-Qawiy [The One Perfect in Strength (i.e. Allaah)], who is not unable to do anything. Therefore, is there any greater injustice after this?
The second type of Dzulm [injustice] is committed when a person oppresses himself by committing sins. A sinner oppresses himself because he exposes himself to punishment, even though it is obligated on his to save himself and place himself in an appropriate situation and that is to obey Allaah etc
The third type of Dzulm [injustice] is committed when a person oppresses others (or commits injustice against them) by taking their wealth (unlawfully), or backbiting them, or spreading tales about them, or stealing their wealth, or violating their honour through backbiting, tale carrying, slander, or shedding their blood by way of unlawful murder, or beating them, inflicting injuries, degrading them without right etc [Source: I’aanah Al-Mustafeed Bi-Sharhi Kitaab At-Tawheed’ page 55-56 ]
Abu Dardaa [may Allaah be pleased with him] reported that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “The heaviest [deed] on the scale [i.e. the scale of good deeds on yawmul qiyaamah] is good manners [or good character]”.
Al-Allaamah Zayd Bin Haadee al-Madkhalee [may Allaah have mercy uponn him] said: This hadeeth contains proof regarding the virtue of good manners and that it is obligated [on a person] to be good mannered. The knowledge of the Sharee’ah is the basis of good manners and it is the means to [acquiring it]. If Allaah favours a person with knowledge of the Sharee’ah, then indeed it will lead him to good manners, and thus a Muslim slave of Allaah becomes well-mannered towards people through good dealings – helpful to the weak, honours guests, greets people with the Salaam, teach, command good and forbid evil. All these deeds are fruitful outcomes of good manners.
A person cannot be well-mannered until he is from those who are obedient to Allaah [The Blessed and Exalted] and distances himself from acts of disobedience to Allaah- meaning that his manners should be in conformity with what the Sharee’ah has obligated. He fulfils Allaah’s commands and feels shy – in the presence of Allaah – to fall short in that which Allaah has commanded him. He abandons acts of disobedience, forbidden deeds and evil doing out of shyness in the presence of Allaah, and out of being merciful to himself because these acts are a cause of punishment in this life and the next. Also, this is what he does in relation to everything that Allaah has obligated on him [i.e. obedience to Allaah] and he distances himself from what Allaah forbids and hates. And Allaah knows best.
Being well mannered includes: Being well-mannered in the presence of Allaah by fulfilling the rights of Allaah in the most perfect manner – neither being negligent nor going beyond the legislated boundaries of the Sharee’ah.
Being well-mannered towards family – first and foremost towards one’s wife, son, daughter and others in the family, so that harmony, mutual co-operation and a good feeling towards one another exits between everyone, and there exist neither splitting nor separation. Being well-mannered towards parents; to be dutiful to them and refrain from being undutiful; merciful towards them and supplicate for them; treat them kindly – whether they are alive or have passed away- by supplicating for them, giving charity on their behalf and mentioning them in a good manner. Being well-mannered towards extended blood relatives – those who are related to you from your father’s side and mother’s side.
Being well-mannered towards neighbours: Even if the neighbour is a disbeliever, he has rights. And if he is a Muslim, he has the rights of a Muslim and a neighbour. And if he is a relative, he has three rights – the rights of a Muslim, the rights of a neighbour and the rights of a relative.
Being well-mannered towards one’s companions by speaking to them in a pleasant manner and fulfilling the rights of companionship. Being Well-mannered Towards One’s Shuyookh – those Shuyookh of Ahlus Sunnah from whom you seek knowledge – by honouring them, dealing with them in a good manner and always supplicating for them, because a teacher provides tremendous good to his students. As for ahlul bidah wad-dalaal [the people of bidah and misguidance], even if some of them study from others, there is no benefit in their instructions and learning. Good Manners Between Fellow Students, whether they are together in the schools, specific gatherings, a specific lesson in the Masjid or a specific place designated for that purpose. A person should be well-mannered, and this should be manifested in good speech, good deeds, good dealings and being truthful in one’s promises; loving one another based on that love legislated in the Sharee’ah and loving one another for the sake of Allaah. This is why the virtue of this lofty deed [i.e. good manners (or good character)] has been mentioned, just as it has been stated in the hadeeth: “The heaviest thing on the scales [i.e. on yawmul qiyaamah] is good manners” – meaning the heaviest deed on the scale of good deeds is good manners, because it leads to every virtuous deed and opposes all different types of evil. And Allaah knows best. [An Excerpt from ‘At-ta’leeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah’. Pages 38-39. Slightly paraphrased]