“Toxic Masculinity” or “Misogyny”: [Merely Concocting Terms Will Not Uproot Male Violence Against Females]

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Merely Concocting Terms Such as Toxic Masculinity, Shaming Men, Warning Against Influencers Labelled As Misogynist or Seeking to Tame Males By Depriving Them of Their Sound Natural Disposition Mentioned In The Infallible Final Divine Revelation Will Not Stop Male Violence Against Females Until and Unless We Sincerely Continue to Nurture Ourselves and Our Male Children Upon Fear of Allaah


Fear of Allaah – The Robust Foundation

Allaah [The Most High] said:

أَفَمَنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَانَهُ عَلَىٰ تَقْوَىٰ مِنَ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانٍ خَيْرٌ أَمْ مَنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَانَهُ عَلَىٰ شَفَا جُرُفٍ هَارٍ فَانْهَارَ بِهِ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الظَّالِمِينَ

Is it then he, who laid the foundation of his building on piety to Allah and His Good Pleasure, better, or he who laid the foundation of his building on an undetermined brink of a precipice ready to crumble down, so that it crumbled to pieces with him into the Fire of Hell. And Allah guides not the people who are the Zaalimoon [polytheists and wrong doers]. [Soorah At-Tawbah: Ayah: 109]

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: Whoever wants his building to be elevated, then it is incumbent upon him to strengthen and fortify its foundation, because the elevation of the building is based on the firmness and fortification of its foundation. Deeds are a building and Eemaan is their foundation. If the foundation is strong, it carries and elevates the building, and if a part of the building is damaged, it is easy for it to bear the [damage]; but if the foundation is not firm, then neither will the building be elevated nor will it be firm. And if something from the foundation is damaged, the building will either collapse or close to that. Therefore, the duty of a knowledgeable person is that he makes the foundation sound and fortified. As for the ignorant person, he elevates [the building] whilst building upon other than a [strong] foundation, so his building does not remain.

The foundation of deeds is like the physical strength of a person- if the strength is vigorous, the body will be able to withstand burden and repel many harmful things; but if it is weak, the body’s ability to withstand burden is weakened and harm quickly overcomes the person. Therefore, support your building [i.e. your actions and deeds] with the foundation of Eemaan; for if something from the top of your building decays and falls down, then it would be much easier for the [building] to bear [the damage], rather than the destruction of the foundation. This foundation [i.e. Eemaan] is based on two affairs: Firstly, sound knowledge and awareness of Allaah, His Commandments, Names and Attributes. Secondly, complete submission to Allaah alone [i.e. by worshipping Him alone] and [unconditional obedience to] His Messenger alone. This is the firmest foundation upon which the slave establishes his building [i.e. his actions and deeds]. Therefore, one solidifies the foundation, preserves its strength and carries on being enthusiastic, and thus what is desired [i.e. success in this life and the next] will be reached [InShaaAllaah]. (a)

Imaam Sadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: Indeed, it is impossible to rectify the souls and acquire virtue solely through the worldly sciences. Experience and clearly witnessed circumstances are the greatest proofs regarding this affair, because despite its advancement and vastness it has been unable to nurture and rectify the souls [i.e. upon excellent traits, manners, dealings, characteristics, sound creed etc] which are the determinants of [sound] rectification and success. What the Religion of Islaam propagates is that which is entrusted with this rectification; it is what will guide the thoughts towards the truthful and authentic sources of knowledge, guide the actions of the people towards good and prevent them from evil. Islam is The Rectifier of the Creeds and Manners- the thing that cultivates the thoughts [upon righteousness], urges towards virtuousness and prevents from depravity.

The essence of that which the religion calls to – regarding belief in the Unseen, which includes belief in Allaah and that which He possesses of Names, Attributes and Actions of perfection; belief in Angels, belief in recompense for one’s good and bad deeds in this life and the next, which cannot be known except through the Messengers, is what acquaints a person with the fact that rectification – in reality – is not possible through other than sound belief and the religion of Islaam.

Therefore, even if the worldly sciences rectify [some] affairs based upon that which [some] people know in detail, it will still not be equal [in perfection, excellence etc] to the knowledge of the Messengers [in the least]. It will neither reach that which is reached through the knowledge of the Messengers nor can it influence the souls in the manner in which the knowledge of the Messengers has done; for indeed the souls do not voluntarily submit except through belief in Allaah, belief in His Angels, belief in His Books, belief in His Messengers and belief in the hereafter. And without this, voluntary submission is impossible, as is well known regarding human nature. (b)

Imaam As-Sadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: Among the most amazing of affairs is that many contemporary writers and politicians seek to remedy the many social ills and try to do so do from many angles, however as for the problem of deviation from Allaah’s path- whose surge has carried away the majority of young people – they have not rushed to stop it by returning to sound Eemaan and certainty; rather they have been abandoned to wander blindly in their misguidance and wavering in beguilement, and thus the social ills they seek to remedy gives birth to other social ills- because if the path to remedying social ills is not based on Eemaan and sound Deen, they will increase and become worse. (c)

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: Everyone with a bit of (sound) intellect knows that the corruption of the world and its ruin occurs due to giving precedence to opinion over the divine revelation and (evil) desires over sound intellect. These two corrupt motives are not entrenched in a heart except that its destruction becomes inevitable nor in a nation except that its affairs are completely corrupted. (d)

Some Affairs We (Men) Need to Know About The Opposite Sex [Females]

O people! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife [Hawwa (Eve)], and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship) . Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you. (1)

O people! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has more fear of Allaah. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware. (2)

The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Women are the twin halves (or counterparts of) men”. (3) Meaning, they are twin halves of men as created beings and with natural traits, as if they are the other halves from men because Hawaa [may peace be upon her] was created from Adam [peace be upon him]. (4)

Imaam Muhammad Bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “Women are the twin halves of men, meaning they are the other half from them, because a woman is the daughter of her father and a part from him, just as the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, ‘Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) is from me’. The narration has another meaning – that ‘Twin halves (or counterpart) of men’ means the same as men with regards that which Allaah has obligated on men and women- those things not specified to women or men. (5)

Al-Miqdam Ibn Ma’dee[may Allaah be pleased with him] said, “Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, ‘Verily, Allaah commands you to be good to women. Verily, Allaah commands you to be good to women, because they are your mothers, sisters your aunts'”. (6)

Respect For Female Relatives of Other People 

Abu Umamah [may Allah be pleased with him] said, “A young man came to the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allah be upon him] and said, ‘O Allaah’s Messenger! Allow me to commit illegal sexual intercourse’. The people turned to him to rebuke him and told him keep quiet. So the Prophet moved closer to him and he sat down. The Prophet said, ‘Would you like that for your mother?’ He said, ‘By Allaah! No. ay Allah make me your ransom’. He said, ‘The people do not like it for their mothers either’. Then he said, ‘Would you like it for your daughter?’ He said, ‘By Allaah! No. May Allah make me your ransom’. He said, ‘The people do not like it for their daughters either’. He said, ‘Would you like it for your sister?’ He said, ‘By Allaah! No. May Allah make me your ransom’. He said, ‘The people do not like it for their sisters either’. He said, ‘Would you like it for your paternal aunt?’ He said, ‘By Allaah! No. May Allah make me your ransom.” He said: “The people do not like it for their paternal aunts either’. He said, ‘Would you like it for your maternal aunt?’ He said, By Allah! No. May Allah make me your ransom’. He said, ‘The people do not like it for their maternal aunts either’. Then he placed his hand on him and said, ‘O Allah! Forgive his sins and cleanse his heart, and protect his chastity’. And after that the young man never thought of any such thing again”. (7)

Abdullah Bin Amr [may Allaah be pleased with him] reported that Allaah’s Messenger of Allaah [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Whoever would love to be delivered from Hellfire and admitted into Paradise, let him meet his end whilst believing in Allaah and the Last Day, and let him treat people as he would love to be treated”. (8)
Imaam An-Nawawi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “This is from the Jawaami al-Kalim of the Prophet [i.e. precise speech with a comprehensive meaning] and his amazing wisdom. It is obligatory to pay close attention to this important principle and that a person must not deal with the people except in a way he loves to be dealt with. (9)

Al-Allaamah Zayd Bin Haadee al-Madkhalee [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “A Muslim is to give consideration to his Muslim brothers in the same way he would give consideration to himself- wishing for them the good he wishes for himself and hates that evil should touch them just as he hates that for himself. The one who loves that the people should approach him with good related to the worldly affairs and affairs related to the Afterlife, then it is obligated on him to do the same for them, so that the statement of the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him], ‘You cannot (truly) believe until you wish for your brother (or sister) what you wish for yourself’ becomes a reality in his personality; and also the statement of the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him], “The believer in relation to another believer is like a structure, each part strengthening the other”. And also the statement of the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him], “The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim (the male and femal)”. Whoever is able to have these characteristics, then indeed he has established Eemaan (in this affair), good manners and good dealings.(10)

Be Merciful to Others, Otherwise You’ll Be Shown Mercy

In a hadeeth reported by Abdullah Bin Amr Ibn Al-Aas [may Allaah be please with him], the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you….”.

Al-Allaamah Zayd Bin Haadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: “Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy”- meaning, be merciful to yourselves and to others. The one who is merciful to himself by performing acts of obedience to Allaah, abandon disobedience to Allaah and restrain himself from (the causes of) Allaah”s punishment, shows mercy to another person in that which contains one’s wellbeing, aids him and fulfil his needs, then indeed Allaah [The Blessed and Exalted] will show him mercy, because recompense is given in accordance to the good deed, and vice versa. That is because the understanding behind this statement, “Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy” comprises of an affair and its answer, which is that the one who does not show mercy to the people will not be shown mercy. In another hadeeth, (the Prophet said), “Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Most Merciful [Allah].

Show mercy to those on earth and the One above the heavens will show you mercy”. “Forgive others and Allah will forgive you”. The intent behind the word Maghfirah in this hadeeth (or context) is to overlook the mistake of the one who commits a mistake. Whoever wrongs you through speech or deed, and then approaches you with an apology and (desires to) free himself from it, then indeed pardon him and do not be harsh towards him, whilst you hope that – behind such pardon- Allaah will pardon you and forgive you your sin- because indeed you did good to one of His servants, pardon him, solve the problem and relinquished your rights, and Allaah is more worthy that you do that for His Sake, so that He pardons you, forgives you your sin, conceal your shortcomings and makes your affair easy. (11)
Do You Wish to Be Bankrupt On Yawmul Qiyaamah?

Abu Hurairah [may Allaah be pleased with him] reported that the Messenger of Allaah [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Do you know who is bankrupt?” They said, “The one without money or goods is bankrupt”. The Prophet said, “Verily, the bankrupt of my Ummah are those who come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, fasting, and charity, but also insulted this one, slandered that one, ate the wealth of this one, shed the blood of that one, and hit this one. So, this one will be given from his good deeds and hat one is given from his deeds. And if his good deeds run out before justice is fulfilled, then their sins will be cast upon him and he will be thrown into the Hellfire”. (12)

Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “The Muslim is the one whom the people are safe from his tongue and hand, and the believer is the one whom the people trust him with regards to their lives and wealth”. (13)

The (complete) believer is that one who the people feel safe with regards to their blood and wealth, for indeed when Imaan is firmly established in the heart and the heart is filled with it, it then compels a person to fulfil the rights of Imaan, and the most important of it is to preserve the Amaanaat [trusts, moral responsibility or honesty and all the duties which Allah has ordained], truthfulness in mutual dealings and having fear of Allaah which stops a person from oppressing the people physically and financially. Whoever is as such, the people will know this about him, feel safe with him with regards to their blood and wealth, and trust him due to that which they know about him with regards to fulfilment of trusts.

And the Muslim is the one who the Muslims are safe from his tongue and hand. This is because real Islaam is to submit to Allaah, perfect one’s servitude to Allaah and fulfil the rights of the Muslims. A person’s Islaam will not be perfect until he loves for the Muslims what he loves for himself, and this cannot be accomplished until they are safe from the evil of his tongue and hand, because it is the basis of this obligation owed to the Muslims. Therefore, the one whom the Muslims are not safe from his tongue and hand, then how can he fulfil the obligation which he owes his Muslim brothers. Whoever unleashes his hand and tongue by way of harm and transgression against the Muslims, then where is his fulfilment of true Islaam? Therefore, their safety from his evil by way of speech and deeds is a symbol of the perfection of his Islaam.

And in this hadeeth there is evidence to show that a Mu’min [true believer] is higher in status than a Muslim, because the one who the people feel safe with regards to their blood and wealth, they will also be safe from his tongue and hand, for they would not have trusted him had they not been safe from him. However, not everyone who the people are safe from his tongue and hand is a believer, because indeed one might abandon oppression, but the people are still not safe from him; rather he abandons oppression out of fear of something he hates, due to desiring something or out of extreme fear of something that is in opposition to what he desires, and not that he abandoned oppression due to the Imaan in his heart. (14)


The Other Extreme Agenda of The Secularists

Imaam Muhammad bin Saaleh Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “Women are portrayed as if they are mere images- pictures (which) people attached no importance to except that which is connected to the woman’s figure (outward appearance). See how they have decorated and beautified her! See how they have brought about beautifications for her and presented her in a desirable condition, in relation to (her) hair, skin, legs, arms, face and everything else; until they make it the most important issue for the woman, like a picture made out of plastic. They neither present to her the importance of establishing Ibaadah nor bearing children”. (15)

Al-Allaamah Khaleel Al-Harraas [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated in his Sharh of An-Nooniyyah of Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him]: After Imaam Ibnul Qayyim described the beauty and perfection of the women of Paradise so that one is drawn towards them, he warned against being deceived by the evil women of this worldly life-those who are deprived of every excellent trait. They are neither perfect in their physical appearances nor do they possess good actionsescribed the beauty and perfection of the women of Paradise so that one is drawn towards them, he warned against being deceived by the evil women of this worldly life-those who are deprived of every excellent trait. They are neither perfect in their physical appearances nor do they possess good actions. How can one be deceived by a woman who possesses ugly manners and is untrustworthy! How can one be deceived by a woman who neither fulfills her obligations nor does she possess patience! How can one be deceived by a woman who is neither contented nor is she obedient and humble [i.e. not obedient to Allaah in that which Allaah has commanded her to fulfil in marriage], and her deeds are ugly! Rather she is a female shaytaan disguised in the image of a human, so she deceives the despicable and depraved people who desire her because they are similar to her and are ready to obey her.

As for the people of goodness and virtue, she neither wants nor desires them because there are no similarities between her and them. She is deprived of everything that directs her towards good and prevents her from evil. She neither possesses the correct way of life ordained by Allaah and a sound moral intellect nor does she possess good manners and fear of Allaah. She does not possess natural beauty, rather her beauty is a falsified one that emanates from cosmetics. And when she leaves that beautification and embellishment the defects on her becomes apparent and she is deprived of everything that makes a person desirous of her. She is characterized with betrayal-neither grateful towards good companionship nor does she preserve and fulfill its rights.

Her beauty is a thin shell and underneath it are defects and ugly affairs. Her beauty resembles a fake coin plated with gold or silver, which one may consider to be a real gold or silver coin; but this counterfeit cannot be circulated amongst the money changers even though many people are deceived by it. (15.1)


Sound Rectification of Society

A man from a place called Waasit, situated between Basra and Kufa, called Radiyyuddeen Al-Waasitee [may Allaah have mercy upon him] – one of the Judges of Waasit – was on his way to Hajj, so he met Shaikhul Islam in Damascus and urged him to write a treatise on creed. Shaikhul Islaam stated: “The reason for writing this book (i.e. Al-Aqeedah Al-Waasitiyyah) was because one of the judges of Waasit came to me – a Shaikh called Radiyyuddeen Al-Waasitee – from the followers of the Shaafi’ee Madhab. He came whilst on his journey and was one of the good people and an adherent to the religion. He complained about the overwhelming ignorance and wrongdoing in his land – under the rulership of the Tartars – and asked me to write for him an Aqeedah that would be a fundamental support for him and his household; but I asked him to excuse me from this request. I said to him, ‘The scholars have written various books of Aqeedah, so take from the books written by the Imaams of the Sunnah”, but he insisted and carried on urging me, and said, ‘I do not want except a book of Aqeedah written by yourself’. So I wrote this Aqeedah for him whilst I was sitting after Asr'”. So, in that one sitting after asr prayer, Shaikhul Islaam wrote – accurately – this Aqeedah and fulfilled what the requester desired. Shaikhul Islaam said, “Many copies of this book spread in Egypt, Iraq and other places”.

Some Beneficial Reminders From This Incident: The need to clarify the Aqeedah – making it clear to the people and attaching them to their Creator and Lord, their Master and Protector. The sound Aqeedah and upright Eemaan is the affair by way of which the degeneration and deviation in society would be be cured. That is because the greatest cause of degeneration in society is due to lack of (truly) knowing Allaah, His Greatness, Exaltedness and Perfection, and what the hearts should have in them about Allaah by way of exaltation. And it has been said, “The one who knows Allaah more will fear Him more”; but when a person’s knowledge about Allaah is weak, then various deviations and corruptions appear amongst the people. Therefore, the Aqeedah is the cure and medication that will bring about safety. If the Aqeedah is sound, the deeds will be upright, behaviour will become good and the souls will be satisfied. Contemplate on this in relation to the affair of this righteous judge and the state of his land, such as his mention of the spread of ignorance, rife wrong doing and corruption; so he went to find a solution to these problems by asking Shaikhul Islaam to write a book on creed. When you look at the state of affairs in our time, you’ll see this widespread and the painful state of affairs in many societies; therefore, people are greatly in need of concentrating on Aqeedah, learning Aqeedah, nurtured upon Aqeedah, and spread Tawheed, Eemaan and affairs that will bring about strong attachment to Allaah. This judge saw that Aqeedah is the solution and cure, and he acknowledged Shaikhul Islaam’s leadership in knowledge, religion, piety and great station, so he sought from him and insisted until Shaikhul Islaam agreed to write this book. (16)

Rectification of Society- Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him]

Rectification of Modern Societies – By Saudi Scholar Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz

We ask Allaah to protect us from every blameworthy trait Aameen.

[Ref a: An Excerpt from ‘Al-Fawaa-id: page 154. slightly paraphrased]

[Ref b: Al-Adillah Al-Qawaati Wal-Baraaheen Fee Ibtaalil Usoolil Mulhideen 49-50]

[Ref c: An Excerpt from ‘Al-Adillatul Qawaatiq’ pages 40-41′. slightly paraphrased]

[Ref d: I’laam Al-Muwaqqi’een 1/67-69]

[Ref 1: Surah An-Nisaa. Verse 1]

[Ref 2: Surah Al-Hujuraat. Verse 13]

[Ref 3: Saheeh Abu Dawood. No 236. Publisher Maktabah Al-Ma’aarif 1st edition]

[Ref 4: Mirqaatul Mafaateeh Sharh Miishkaat Al-Masaabeeh 2/428. slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 5: https://binothaimeen.net/content/11305 ]

[Ref 6: Silsilah Al-Hadeeth as-Saheehah 2871]

[Ref 7: Silsilah Al-Hadeeth As-Saheehah 370]

[Ref 8: Ṣaḥeeh Muslim 1844]

[Ref 9: Sharh Saheeh Muslim Vol 12/196]

[Ref 10: At-ta’leeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilati Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah. 2/29-33. slightlyparaphrased]

[Ref 11: An Excerpt from At-taleeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah. Vol 1 pages 63-64. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 12: Ṣaḥeeh Muslim 2581]

[Ref 13: Saheeh Sunan An-Nasa’ee 4995. Maktabah Al-Ma’aarif. 1st edition]

[Ref 14: Sharh Adabun Nufoos. Lessons 1-2]

[Ref 15: Sharh Riyaadus Saaliheen 1/525. Publisher: Madaar Al-Watan 1426AH. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 15.1:Sharh Al-Qaseedah An-Nooniyyah Vol 2, page: 738-739]

[Ref 16: Introduction to Sharh Al-Aqeedah Al-Waasitiyyah]

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