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Reminder to Our Sons Regarding Our Precious and Noble Daughters-In-Law

In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.

Allaah [The Exalted] said: [وَهُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ مِنَ الْمَاءِ بَشَرًا فَجَعَلَهُ نَسَبًا وَصِهْرًا وَكَانَ رَبُّكَ قَدِيرًا – And it is He Who has created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood, and kindred by marriage. And your Lord is Ever All-Powerful to do what He will]. [Surah Al-Furqan. Aayah 54]

The Love Between Husband and Wife

Allaah (The Most High) said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Surah Ar-Rum. Aayah 21]

Imaam As-Sadi [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated: “In most cases, you will not find love in anyone similar to the love and mercy between a husband and wife”. [Tafseer As-Sadi]

The Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another” – Meaning, there is no bond like that bond between two people in marriage who love one another, for if they are married and love is present between them, it will increase in strength every day. (1)

Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saalih Al-Uthaymeen [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said: If a person says: “What will make a man love his wife and vice versa?” We say: Allaah has clarified this in His statement: [وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ – And live with them honourably]. [Surah An-Nisaa. Aayah 19] If every person lives with his wife honourably and vice versa, then love, a strong bond and a happy married life will be established. (2)

The Blessing of Gentleness In The Households

Jareer Ibn Abdullah [may Allaah be pleased with him] reported that the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “Verily, Allah [The Mighty and Majestic] rewards for gentleness that which He does not give insolence. If Allah loves a servant, He grants him the quality of gentleness. No household is deprived of kindness, except that they have been truly deprived”. (3)

Aa’Isha [may Allaah be pleased with her] narrated that Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said to her, “O Aa’Isha! Be gentle, for indeed when Allaah wishes good for a household, He guides them to gentleness”. Al-Allaamah Zaid Bin Haadi Al-Mad’khali [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “This hadeeth contains proof regarding the fact that it is obligatory to give sincere advice and the first people one should give sincere advice is the members of the household- the wives, sons, daughters and others. Also this hadeeth contains proof regarding the virtue of gentleness in all affairs, for indeed gentleness is not found in any affair except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it damages it. On the other hand, the opposite of gentleness is warn against and it is the harshness that is applied in other than its rightful place, because its end result will be alienation and disharmony”. (4)

A Man’s Knowledge Regarding The Feelings of His Wife In different Situations, Whilst Sincere Love And Respect Is Maintained Between Them:


Satan hates the good relationship between husband and wife

Jaabir [may Allaah be pleased with him] narrated that Allaah’s Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him]said: Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments [for creating dissension]; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well. A’mash said: He then embraces him. [Saheeh Muslim. Number:2813]

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim [may Allaah have mercy upon him] stated: “And because of the fact that this bond (between husband and wife) is from the most beloved affairs to Allaah and His Messenger, it is from the most hated affairs to the enemy of Allaah [i.e. shaytaan]. Therefore he hastens to split two people who love another for the sake of Allaah”. (5)

Welcome O Noble daughters-in-law! Daughters of noble generous fathers and forbearing mothers who gave you in marriage to our sons. You’ve left beloved fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters to be in the company of our sons, therefore, it is incumbent upon us to welcome you with open arms and preserve you like precious pearls. May Allaah bless you for being another source of increased happiness and joy in our lives. We ask Allaah by His Greatest Name to grant you and our sons happiness, steadfastness, love and compassion Aameen.

And we say to our sons: your fathers are not infallible, therefore, never copy their mistakes in the name of manliness; rather, know that the Sunnah is the only source of happiness, success and upright conduct. Imaam Sufyaan Ibn Uyaynah [may Allaah have mercy upon him] used to say, “Indeed, the Messenger [peace and blessings of allaah be upon him] is the greatest criterion (i.e. amongst mankind and Jinn) and all affairs are presented to him (i.e. for judgement and judged) based on his manners, path and guidance; so whatever is in agreement with this is truth, and whatever is in opposition is falsehood”. (6)

Never copy our mistakes in the name of “My father used to do such and such” because success is not found in following fathers and forefathers upon error. May Allaah make you and your wives Mubaarak wherever you maybe Aameen.

[Ref 1: Reported by Imaam Ibn Maajah 2/153. Hadeeth Number: 1847. Declared Authentic by Imaam Albaanee in As-Saheehah 2/196. Sharh Sunan Ibn Maajah by As-Sindee (rahimahullaah)… Hadeeth Number 1847’ Book of Marriage- Chapter: The Excellence of Marriage]

[Ref 2: Fataawaa Noor Alad-Darb 6/29]

[Ref 3: Saheeh At-Targheeb. Number 2666]

[Ref 4: At-ta’leeqaat Al-Maleehah Alaa Silsilah Al-Ahaadeeth As-Saheehah. Vol 1 page 277. Slightly paraphrased]

[Ref 5: Rawdatul Muhibbeen. Page 188]

[Ref 6: Al-Jaami Li-Akhlaaq Ar-Raawi Wa Aadaab As-Saami’  page 8]


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