In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy.
The Muslim Must Strive to Protect His Sense of Honour
Shaikh Saaleh Aala Ash-Shaikh [may Allaah preserve him] stated: “Al-Khawaarim Al-Muroo’ah (i.e. an act that violates a Muslim’s sense of honour) differs based on the place and era people are living in. For example, you find that some of the Ahlul Hadeeth censured such and such person because he once saw him eating in the market place and then said, ‘’Eating in the market place [يخرم المروءة – i.e. it violates one’s sense of honour or it is something unbefiting]- meaning: he is seen in the street -in the presence of the people- eating; or similar to eating in restaurants nowadays. This -in their view -was tantamount to Al-Khawaarim Al-Muroo’ah. However, nowadays (or in this era) the situation is different, for indeed a person may be in need of these things and it is not considered to be Al-Khawaarim Al-Muroo’ah. Therefore, Al-Khawaarim Al-Muroo’ah differs based on the era and place. So, if this deed (or affair) is not done by those regarded to be possessors of Muroo’ah [sense of honour], then whoever does so is censured and his deed is considered to be [خارما من خوارم المروءة – i.e. one of those deeds that violates one’s sense of honour], and the upright amongst the people are those who avoid the Al-Khawaarim Al-Muroo’ah”. (1)
So, the Shaikh says that what is regarded as sense of honour may change, but what we must bear in mind is that such a change cannot make permissible that which is impermissible, and vice versa; as well as the fact that even if this haircut (Qaza) has become a custom in society, then indeed, we are not allowed to follow forbidden customs. Read here: https://abukhadeejah.com/the-prohibition-of-qaza-hairstyle-disallowed-by-allahs-messenger/
Imaam Abdul Azeez Bin Baaz [may Allaah have mercy upon him] said, “It is obligated on every Muslim that he does not depend on custom; rather he presents it to the pure Islamic legislation [to be judged], so whatever the Islamic legislation affirms is permissible and whatever it does not affirm is impermissible. The customs of the people are not proof to determine the lawfulness of anything. All the customs of the people in their countries or tribes must be presented to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] for judgement, so whatever Allaah and His Messenger made permissible is permissible, and whatever they forbid, then it is obligatory to abandon it even if it is the custom of the people”. (2)
Sometimes when some of the youth appear with a haircut that shows the skin on the temples, they either say that the barber made a mistake or that their hair on the temples is thinner. We often remind them that they should not be complacent whenever they visit the barbers, because barbers – except a few – either recommend haraam hairstyles or they co-operate with those who desire a haraam hairstyle, rather many of them shave or trim the beards of people. Therefore, make sure that the barber does not cut too much hair from the temples lest it leads to something blameworthy (Qaza). The Messenger [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] said, “That which is lawful is clear and that which is unlawful is clear and between the two are ambiguous matters which many people do not know of. So whoever took caution regarding the ambiguous matters has absolved himself regarding his religion and his honour. And whoever fell into the doubtful matters has fallen into the unlawful, just like the shepherd who grazes his flock around the sanctuary (of a king), all but grazing therein. Indeed, every king has a sanctuary (that cannot be violated) and indeed the sanctuary of Allāh is his prohibitions. Indeed, there is a morsel of flesh in the body which if it is sound the whole body is sound and which if itis corrupt the whole body is corrupt. Indeed, it is the heart.” (3)
Therefore, do not allow the barber – whilst cutting your hair – to be like the shepherd that grazes his flock around the sanctuary (of a king) until he trespasses. If your hair is thin on the temples, then made sure that the barber does not take too much hair from it until your skin is shown. You must protect your pristine Muslim identity because that is what gives you honour in reality. Read: Muslim Identity, the Honour that Islam Brings and the Danger of Blindly Following Non-Muslim Cultures that Clash with Islam and the Sunnah: https://abukhadeejah.com/muslim-identity-honour-that-islam-brings-danger-of-following-non-muslim-culture/
Finally, as for the statement that Qaza falls into the subject matter of etiquettes and therefore its initial ruling is not Tahreem (i.e. something forbidden), this has already been addressed on this link:
A Precise Affair Regarding The Statement “Prohibitions Related to Etiquettes Takes The Ruling of Karaahah”
We ask Allaah to overlook our shortcomings and guide us to everything that is praiseworthy Aameen.
Ref 1: https://salaficentre.com/2019/02/11/a-precise-principle-related-to-khawaarim-al-murooah-i-e-behaviour-or-conduct-that-is-tantamount-to-violating-ones-sense-of-honour/
Ref 2: Majmoo Al-Fataawaa 6/510
Ref 3: https://www.nawawis40hadith.com/nw/hadith/6/the-doubtful-matters By Shaikh Abu Iyaad