Salaficentre Appeal 2019

Posts Tagged ‘husband’

Career VS Marriage… Delaying Marriage until after 30! Ibn Uthaymeen

The Consequences upon Whoever Delays Marriage until After 30 Years of Age For The Reason of Building His Future.

The Question: If a young man delays marriage, until after 30 years of age whilst having the ability (to get married), Is there anything upon him because he wants to build his future (first) and complete his education?

The Answer: Yes there is something upon him. And it is (the fact) that he did not follow and take the guidance (and instructions) of the Prophet (sallaAllahu alayhi wa aalihi wa sallam), and his saying is (sallaAllahu alayhi wa sallam):

“O Youth, whoever is able from amongst you to get married, then let him get married, for indeed it is better in lowering the gaze and more preserving for your private parts”. (1)

So he commanded the youth that they should get married and he clarified its benefits. And the statement (excuse) that he is distracted (and busy) with studies and with building his future is a false (invalid) statement. And how many people were not at ease during their studies until after they got married. (after marriage) They found ease (and relief), sufficient provision and self-restraint from looking at that which Allaah has made impermissible, like (looking at) women, pictures and the likes.

Therefore, my advice for the youth (young men & women) in general is that they should get married at the earliest opportunity by following the command of the Messenger of Allaah (sallaAllahu Alayhi wa sallam) and in seeking to attain provision; because the married individual wants chastity and modesty (abstinence and protection from that which Allaah has made impermissible), so Allaah the Glorified and Majestic aids him, as it’s been mentioned in the Hadeeth:

“It is a right on Allaah to aid three (types of people)”,

and he mentioned from them:

“The man who marries wanting chastity”.

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(1) Hadeeth is agreed upon: Bukhaaree, 1905; Muslim, 1400.

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Virtue of Hastening to Marriage – Al Imaam ibn Baz

The virtue of taking the first opportunity to get married.

Al Imaam ibn Baz (rahimahullah) was asked about delaying marriage due to certain reasons, from them: an individual’s (male or female)  job, their social and financial circumstances and studies.

The answer:

What is required is to take the first opportunity to get married. The youth (young man & women) should not delay marriage for the reason of studies.

And the young women should not delay marriage for the reason of studies, as marriage does not prevent anything from that. And it is possible for the young man to get married and preserve his religion, his manners and lower his gaze and at the same time he continues to study.

And likewise for the young women, when Allah makes it easy for her a compatible match, she should hasten to get married even if she is still studying. All of this does not prevent (marriage).

So what is required is to take the first opportunity and to agree to marriage if a compatible person proposes. And studies does not prevent that.

And if a part of the studies was left out, then that’s still ok. What’s important is that you learn that which makes you know your religion. And the rest is a (extra) benefit.

And in marriage there are numerous advantages, especially in this time (we are in), and due to the harm that’s upon the young women and men in delaying it.

Therefore, what is required upon all young men and all young women is to take the first opportunity to get married when a compatible proposer is made possible for a woman.

And when a good woman is made possible for the young man, he should take this opportunity, acting upon the saying of the noble Messenger (upon him be the salaah and salaam) is the authentic Hadith:

“O youth, those who are able amongst you to get married; then he should marry; for indeed it is better in lowering the gaze, and more preserving for the private parts, and whoever is unable, then he should fast, for indeed it is a shield for him” [Agreed upon].

And this includes both the young men and women, and it is not specific to the men, but it is general for both, as both of them are in need of getting married. We ask Allah guidance for everyone.

Narrated by Al-Bukhari in the Book of marriage, chapter (The saying of the Prophet (sallaAllahu alayhi wa sallam:

“Whoever is able amongst you to get married then he shall get married) [#5065].

And Muslim in the Book of marriage. Chapter (Recommendation to get married for the one whose soul desires it) [#1400].

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[1] رواه البخاري في (النكاح)، باب (قول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: “من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج “)، برقم: 5065، ومسلم في (النكاح)، باب (استحباب النكاح لمن تاقت نفسه إليه)، برقم: 1400.

مجموع فتاوى ومقالات متنوعة المجلد العشرون.

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[2] Husbands & Wives: Permissible To Have Sex With One’s Wife From All Directions- Behind or Front- As Long As It Is In The Vagina, But Not In The Anus!

Imaam Ibnul Qayyim (rahimahullaah) said: The Quraish and the Ansaar used approach their women from the back (i.e. sexual intercourse in the vigina whilst the wife is not lying down on her back), so the Yahood rebuked them for that. Then Allaah (The Mighty and Majestic) revealed:

[نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ  – Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (i.e. have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will]. [2:223]

In the Saheehayn (Bukhaari and Muslim) it has been reported from Jaabir (radiyallaahu-anhu) who said: The Yahood used to say, “If one has sexual intercourse with his wife from the back, then she will deliver a squint-eyed child.” So Allaah (The Mighty and Majestic) revealed: [نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَّكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ  – Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (i.e. have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will]. [1]

The vagina is the place of seeking after children. As for the anus, it has not been uttered on the tongue of a single Prophet among the Prophets that it is permissible (to have sexual intercourse in the anus). Imaam Abu Daawud (rahimahullaah) reported in his Sunan from Abu Hurairah (radiyallaahu-anhu) that the Messenger (sallal-laahu-alayhi-wasallam) said: ‘’Cursed is the one who has sexual intercourse with his wife in the anus.’’ [2]

If it is the case that Allaah has prohibited sexual intercourse through the vagina due to an apparent harm (i.e. at the time of menstruation or post natal bleeding), then what about the area (i.e. the anus) which is a place for removal of harmful things (i.e. faeces) permanently.

The woman has a right to be fulfilled by the husband during sexual relations; therefore to perform sexual intercourse with her through the anus is violation of this right. Anal intercourse neither fulfils her sexual desires nor does it reach its objective. Also, neither is the anus naturally prepared for this act nor was it created for that purpose; rather the vagina is the natural place prepared for sexual relations.

Sexual intercourse through the anus is harmful for the man; likewise it is greatly harmful for the woman because it is something very strange and far removed from innate natural human disposition.

It is from the greatest causes of punishment and blessings being taken away because it brings about Allaah’s Anger and Curse. It also deprives the person of shyness because shyness gives life to the heart [i.e. makes it hate and stay away from evil (and) repugnant acts]. However, if the heart is deprived of this shyness, it starts beautifying repugnant acts and declaring good acts repugnant, and thus corruption becomes strengthened and dominant.

[Source: بدائع التفسير الجامع لما فسَّره الإمام ابن القيم الجوزية Abridged and slightly paraphrased. Vol 1. Page: 176-177]

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[1] Bukhaari. Number: 4528

[2] Hadeeth declared Hasan by Imaam Albaani (rahimahullaah) in his checking of Sunan Abu Dawud. Hadeeth Number: 2162. Page: 327. Publisher: Maktabah Al-Ma-aarif

 

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A Righteous Wife is foundation of righteous communities – Ash Shaykh Saalih Al Fawzaan

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Ash Shaykh Al-Fawzaan – hafidahullah – said:

“Oh mankind know that righteous communities are built on righteous families and good houses; good houses are based upon the righteous wife, due to this it is obligatory for the Muslim that he chooses a righteous wife.

(فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ)،

Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (Soorah An-Nisaa’ Verse 34)

Therefore the Muslim chooses the righteous wife for she is the foundation of the house and she is the cultivator for the offspring and she guards her offspring and husband.

(فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ)
i.e. she is obedient to Allah

(حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ)

: When her husband is away she preserves herself (chastity), his property and his children until he returns.

A dua of the slaves of Ar-Rahmaan (as mentioned in soorah Al Furqaan)

(رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ)

And those who say: “Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, (Soorah Al-Furqaan Verse 74)

So they began their supplication with the wives (i.e. due to the importance of having righteous wives)”

http://www.alfawzan.af.org.sa/node/14982

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The wife raising her voice towards her husband – Shaykh Uthaymeen

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Shaykh Uthaymeen was asked about a woman who raises her voice and shouts at her husband:

(Paraphrasing)
Indeed raising of the wife’s voice towards her husband is from evil manners, and that is because he is her protector and he takes care of her.*

Therefore it is a must that she respects him and addresses him with manners. Because that is more likely to create affection between them and enables friendship and love to remain between them. Likewise the husband must also treat her kindly. So good manners and kind treatment is mutual, Allah the Most High said:

…And treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.
Soorah An-Nisaa’ Verse 19

Fataawa Noor alad Darb li ibn Uthaymeen

* Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
Soorah An-Nisaa Verse 34

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Marrying a pregnant woman – Permanent committee

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

The pregnant divorcee or widow has an iddah (specific time period before she can get married which is) until she has given birth, due to His statement:

And for those who are pregnant (whether they are divorced or their husbands are dead), their ‘Iddah (prescribed period) is until they deliver (their burdens)
Soorah Al-Talaaq Verse 4

(So) the marriage contract with her is obsolete and the marriage is not complete.

Fataawa Al-Lajnah Ad-Daa’imah 4945

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The Quran and Sunnah Upon The Understanding of The Salaf

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