Q: If a father gives to all his children, the one who is in need from them and the one who is not in need, and he sometimes pays their debts. Is it incumbent upon him to be equal (between them), and how is this equality (achieved) if some do not have debts upon them?
A: Equality is in giving (gifts) and ownership, as for obligatory spending, then each is given in accordance with his need. Even if some require more than others. In obligatory spending, equality is not a condition, justice (in this case) is giving each according to his need. The obligatory spending on the older (child) is not like the obligatory spending on the infant. Justice is giving each in accordance to his need. That’s it.
And the one who is in need of marriage, help him marry; there is not a requirement to provide the (same) amount to the another (child).
This is from obligatory spending, marriage is from obligatory spending, he helps to marry the one in need of marriage. As for the one who is not in need of marriage due to being young, there is nothing for him. Therefore obligatory spending, there is no equality; meaning giving the same and it is only giving each individual according to his need. and the needs of the children will differ, such as (between) the older and the younger child.
The rest of the question?
Is it incumbent upon him to be equal (between them), if he pays the debts of some of them.
Likewise with debt, if his son is finding difficulty, and he is not able to clear the debt. Then he pays it for him, and it is not binding to give to the other (child), because this situation is not the case of ownership, this is under the circumstance of settlement (of debt); removal of debt from his son. So this (father) does not give the others the same as him (the one in debt). As for if they are (also) in debt, and cannot find a way out, he pays it for them, just like he pays for the other one’s (debt).
As for if one of them is rich and able to settle (his debts), and (another) one is poor, being sought (to pay) and it is tight for him, then he settles the debts for him and does not settle the debt of the other rich (child).
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih Al-Uthaymeen (rahimahullah) was asked a question regarding the fathers (or parents) who are preoccupied and busy with their work, that they are not able to ask their children about their daily affairs; their academic studies; who their friends are etc, the Shaykh (rahimahullah) replied,
We say regarding those who are too busy (to enquire after or look after their children). From the greatest of your actions and deeds are your sons and daughters, their responsibility upon you is greater than your trade or business. We ask, what do you want and desire by way of your work and business? Surely, you only desire by way of it, the ability to spend upon yourself and your family; this is nourishment for the body. More important than this is nourishing the heart, nourishing the soul, cultivating eemaan and righteous actions in the souls of the sons and daughters. The fathers shoulkd then know that the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alaihi wa salam) said,
“When a person dies, his actions are cut off, except for three, ongoing charity, knowledge which is benefited by or a righteous child who supplicates for him.”
Therefore, a righteous child benefits his father in life and death, hence it is more befitting and preponderant that he is cared for more than wealth, because if a person is rich it is possible for him to assign employees to carry out his business and if he is not, then indeed Allah The Most High said,
And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). (2) And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. (At-Talaaq: 2-3)
Live lectures with Abu Humayd Saalim Ahmed & Rayaan Barker
A lecture for all the family taken from the works of the scholars, on how to best protect our youth and children, from the perils of the dunya, and the traps that shaytaan places in front of them. A very important reminder in this modern age of temptation, vice and fitnah.
Talks commence at 12:30-2:45 (with Dhuhr in between)
This is followed by our Sisters Tea Afternoon
A wonderful event for all our sisters, a great chance to get together. There will be stalls available also with all proceeds going to the da’wa. See posters for details.
Save yourself from the fire by having taqwa of Allāh and (likewise) save your children from the fire by way of (giving them) righteous cultivation upon Islām and upon (performing actions of) the religion and having excellent manners. If not (i.e. if you have not given them this cultivation), then indeed you have betrayed the responsibility which you were entrusted with.
In The Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of Mercy
Some of the children – [in year 4] – at a Salafi School were given Ayah 65 in Surah Al-Ankabut and asked to talk about what is mentioned in this ayah regarding the attitude of the Makkan polytheists when they were in danger, so some of them wrote:
In this ayah, Allah says they make duwa to Allah when they are in danger and when they are safe, they worship the idols. That’s not good.
When the miscreants embark on a ship and are in danger, they invoke Allah for help but when they are safe they are ungrateful and go back to their idols.
When they are in need of help upon the sea, they worship Allah because they know their idols can’t help them and when Allah gets them to land safely they worship the idols again and they are spoilt.
I showed this work to one parent whose child wrote, ”and when Allah gets them to land safely they worship the idols againand they are spoilt”so we both laughed because of the phrase ‘and they are spoilt’. We ask Allaah (The Most High) to protect the next generation of this Ummah and make them examples for mankind in every aspect of life. We ask Allah (The Most High) to make all our children the coolness of our eyes in this Dunyah and the Aakhirah, grant us and them Ikhlaas, Sidq, Thabaat and Husnul Khaatimah…Aameen.